Canadia

Customer on cell: Yes, darling. I do have to bring her home, she's our daughter.

Ontario
Canadia

Secretary: So, who wrote the Tom Clancy books again?
Boss: (looks at her)
Secretary: I feel really dumb right now.

Barrie
Canadia

Overheard by: Next room over

Coworker #1: There was a barn fire just outside of town. The whole barn was destroyed. The farmer was missing at first, but they found his remains in the barn. They are sending the remains to Toronto to figure out the cause of death.
Coworker #2: Burnt.
Coworker #1: Excuse me?
Coworker #2: Burnt.
Coworker #1: You are a sick fuck, know that?

Waterloo
Canadia

Overheard by: Meesh

50-year-old milf: I've gotta do a rim job and I don't have a date yet.

London
Canadia

Overheard by: I put my hand up

Elderly coworker, a little too enthusiastically: Hey, why don't you just Outlook me later?
Younger bewildered coworker: Um, okay, I guess…

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: AlsoBewildered

Woman to colleague: So, what did you do last night?
Colleague: I picked up my new banjo, I'm starting banjo lessons this Saturday. I got excited just fondling it!
Woman: I bet.

Ottawa
Canadia

Overheard by: Marti

Older coworker: People didn't need health care in World War I, they just died. They didn't bother with “sick”.

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Glad I'm healthy.

Resident #1: That man is such a bloody pain in the ass! We should just hit him in the head with his cane!
Resident #2: And then chain him to his bed so we don't have to see him anymore.
Resident #1: I'm in.
Resident #2: Me too. Right after I finish my tea.

Regina
Canadia

Unwell-looking manager, coughing: I think I might go home a little earlier today. (coughs) I'm feeling a bit fluey.
Paranoid coworker: I don't want the flu–don't come anywhere near me!
Perky coworker to manager: I've had the flu vaccination–you can come all over me!

Melbourne
Canadia

Overheard by: confused but amused

HR manager to teammate: Come and smell my apples.

Burnaby
British Columbia
Canadia