Store manager: These new shoes make me feel like I'm walking on dead babies. (pause) You know, before they hit rigor mortis.
Kitchener
Canadia
Overheard by: Drewerd
Store manager: These new shoes make me feel like I'm walking on dead babies. (pause) You know, before they hit rigor mortis.
Kitchener
Canadia
Overheard by: Drewerd
Middle-aged woman: How many years are in a decade? Isn't it eight? Or nine? Or something?
Oshawa
Ontario
Canadia
Boss: Were you asleep?
Manager: No, I was just in the middle of a really long blink.
Kitchener
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Michele R.
New project manager: Make it more…sciency.
Chemist: Sciency?
Project manager: You know, truthier.
Chemist: Did you have a stroke?
Project manager: This is just my project management style.
Mississauga
Ontario
Canadia
Coworker #1: (moans uncomfortably)
Coworker #2: What's wrong with you?
Coworker #1: I ate too much…at lunch, my hamburger was so big I had to close my eyes just to fit it in my mouth.
Toronto
Canadia
Minion #1: Do you smell that? It smells like the wicker section of Zellers around here.
Minion #2: Ah, you're right. It does smell like wicker. What is that? Who smells like wicker?
Minion #1: I love playing the “what's that smell?” game in the hallway at work.
Mississauga
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: I Don't Stink
Girl employee #1: Yeah, so I went to visit my boyfriend in jail last night and they had to drug test me to make sure I wasn't smuggling anything for him or whatever, and so they swabbed my arms, and it came back positive for heroin!
Girl employee #2: Oh, weird!
Girl employee #1: I know! I don't even know what heroin looks like!
Vancouver
British Columbia
Canadia
Overheard by: very concerned
Boss: Whats wrong?
Red-faced receptionist: I just picked up a call and you could hear people having sex on the other line! I'm afraid to answer the phone now…
Boss: From now on, put those calls through to me.
Edmonton
Canadia
Coworker #1: I heard on the radio this morning that this girl is selling her virginity for tuition on eBay.
Coworkers #2 and #3: Oh, that's terrible!
Coworker #4: That girl's so ignorant, she won't even be able to walk to school!
Toronto
Canadia
Female coworker to male coworker: I'm going to punch you in the ovaries!
Hamilton
Ontario
Canadia
