Canadia

Older coworker: People didn't need health care in World War I, they just died. They didn't bother with “sick”.

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Glad I'm healthy.

Resident #1: That man is such a bloody pain in the ass! We should just hit him in the head with his cane!
Resident #2: And then chain him to his bed so we don't have to see him anymore.
Resident #1: I'm in.
Resident #2: Me too. Right after I finish my tea.

Regina
Canadia

Unwell-looking manager, coughing: I think I might go home a little earlier today. (coughs) I'm feeling a bit fluey.
Paranoid coworker: I don't want the flu–don't come anywhere near me!
Perky coworker to manager: I've had the flu vaccination–you can come all over me!

Melbourne
Canadia

Overheard by: confused but amused

HR manager to teammate: Come and smell my apples.

Burnaby
British Columbia
Canadia

Secretary on phone: So… this Africa thing, is it going to fuck me?

Langley
British Columbia
Canadia

Woman #1, noticing a letter in woman #2's inbox: Oh, you have stuff in your box!
Woman #2: I always have something in my box.
Woman #1: Aw, I never have anything put in my box.

National Capital Region
Canadia

Overheard by: government spawn

Father mechanic: You sound like your mother.
Son mechanic: Yeah, but I'm not throwing an iron at you. Or a dictionary.
Father mechanic: I loved her until then.

Car Dealership
Oakville, Ontario
Canadia

Girl: How big is it?
Guy: 19 inches.
Girl: Only?

Edmonton
Alberta
Canadia

Older Asian lady: Oh, you shaved your beard off!
IT guy: Yep!
Older Asian lady: Now I don't have to be afraid of you.
IT guy: What?
Older Asian lady: Every time I saw you with your beard, I was afraid you were going to mug me, but now you don't look like a mugger.
IT guy: Thanks… I think?

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Amused at Asian ladies…

Office manager to HR manager: Did you go to the gym yesterday?
HR manager: No.
Office manager: Why not?
HR manager: Because I went home to drink.

Langley
Canadia