Unwell-looking manager, coughing: I think I might go home a little earlier today. (coughs) I'm feeling a bit fluey.
Paranoid coworker: I don't want the flu–don't come anywhere near me!
Perky coworker to manager: I've had the flu vaccination–you can come all over me!
Melbourne
Canadia
Overheard by: confused but amused
HR manager to teammate: Come and smell my apples.
Burnaby
British Columbia
Canadia
Secretary on phone: So… this Africa thing, is it going to fuck me?
Langley
British Columbia
Canadia
Woman #1, noticing a letter in woman #2's inbox: Oh, you have stuff in your box!
Woman #2: I always have something in my box.
Woman #1: Aw, I never have anything put in my box.
National Capital Region
Canadia
Overheard by: government spawn
Father mechanic: You sound like your mother.
Son mechanic: Yeah, but I'm not throwing an iron at you. Or a dictionary.
Father mechanic: I loved her until then.
Car Dealership
Oakville, Ontario
Canadia
Girl: How big is it?
Guy: 19 inches.
Girl: Only?
Edmonton
Alberta
Canadia
Older Asian lady: Oh, you shaved your beard off!
IT guy: Yep!
Older Asian lady: Now I don't have to be afraid of you.
IT guy: What?
Older Asian lady: Every time I saw you with your beard, I was afraid you were going to mug me, but now you don't look like a mugger.
IT guy: Thanks… I think?
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Amused at Asian ladies…
Office manager to HR manager: Did you go to the gym yesterday?
HR manager: No.
Office manager: Why not?
HR manager: Because I went home to drink.
Langley
Canadia
Boss lady: Okay, does anyone have any suggestions on how to overcome this problem?
Underling: (makes an appropriate suggestion)
Boss lady: Interesting. It's possible that your square peg might just fit into my round hole. (pause) No. I'm not going to say it.
Underling: Ummm…I think I'm going to be sick.
Mississauga
Canadia
Overheard by: TCon
Boss to pregnant employee: Yeah, but it's not like you're growing the baby in your ass!
Calgary
Canadia
