Woman to friend: I don’t mind telling you — I have just recently accepted Jesus into my life as my personal savior and salvation, and my life has changed so much. I mean, look — I got a Lincoln Continental!
Starbucks, 2300 Mendocino Avenue
Santa Rosa, California
Overheard by: Thankful to God for other reasons
Female coworker: How old is your girlfriend's son?
Male coworker: 17. He sometimes sleeps in bed with her.
Female coworker: What? What?!
Hollywood, California
Overheard by: Grossed Out
Client: You need to fix this design; the text is way too big.
Web designer: What is the text size in your browser set to?
Client: It’s on large so I can read it better.
1335 Columbus Avenue
San Francisco, California
Boss: You’ll be happy to know that we asked accounting to open up a billing code for “unstrategic planning.”
5340 Alla Road
Los Angeles, California
Newly appointed head of county school superintendent's office: We need to teach out children why they need to know trigometry. (pause) With cooperation from sheriff's real CSI, kids will learn how trigometry is used to solve crimes.
Apple Valley, California
Overheard by: Kittytrix
Interviewee: My current girlfriend used to be a lesbian, but she’s straight now.
209 Redwood Shores Parkway
Redwood City, California
Overheard by: Interviewer in another row
Male coworker, looking at new office desk: That's a really sturdy desk.
Female coworker: Yeah, you could totally do it on that desk.
Male coworker (pausing): Wow, that's kind of awesome that you said that.
Santa Barbara, California
Boss: Where are the nipples?
Lab employee: Nipples?
Boss: Yah, the nipples. You know, squeezie squeezie?
Lab employee: Do you mean pipette bulbs?
Boss: Whatever.
6275 Nancy Ridge Drive
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Meghan Lake
IT guy: What's wrong?
Foreign IT guy, sniffing: I'm not sure.
IT guy: Don't worry, you're in America now. They'll be stuff wrong with you that you never knew was wrong and whatever it is, there'll be a pill for it.
Foreign IT guy, backing away: Uhhhh… thanks.
Aliso Viejo, California
Assistant #1: What if you get a busy signal?
Assistant #2: That means it’s busy.
Assistant #1, after a long pause: Thank you.
450 N Street
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: Assistant #3
