Supervisor: So you and your brother have different fathers, then?
Worker: Yeah.
Supervisor: So you guys are related through your mom.
Worker: Naw, not really.
Supervisor: Wait, so how are you guys related, then?
Worker: I dunno. We’re just brothers.
3901 Via Oro Avenue
Long Beach, California
Overheard by: bored on first day of work
Bus driver, over intercom, on a crowded bus about to let on more passengers: All standees please drop your backpacks to your feet and move to the back of the bus.
(no one moves)
Bus driver: This is the voice of God. Thou shalt drop your bags to your feet and move to the back of the bus.
Davis, California
Overheard by: Natalie T.
Coworker #1: You know how when you’re dating a girl and you find out she has morals…
Coworker #2: Yeah, you give it three dates and then you lose her number.
Monterey, California
Overheard by: Horrified
Worker: Bob’s balls are hanging out of his shorts.
Manager: Yeah, he’s got real hangers.
Worker: You should tell him.
Manager: I like it. No one else can see it, and it’s his lunch break. Besides, you’ve been looking at his scrotum for the last ten minutes.
Balboa Park
San Diego, California
Overheard by: fellow worker sitting nearby
Guy: Wow! Look at the legs on that chick! Those are some really short shorts! Look, Bill*!
Bill: Yeah, that’s my wife.
740 Fourth Street
Santa Rosa, California
Overheard by: Sandie
Manager: What motivates you to do your best job possible?
Interviewee: Well, I don’t do anything half-assed… Yeah, I like to put my whole ass into everything I do.
1158 Howard Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Kirsten
Cube dweller: I think we should force her to get drunk and embarrass her. After all, that’s our way!
33 New Montgomery Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: McF
Boss: Tara, there is a big stack of Christmas cards on your chair. Please put stamps on each one and make sure they are exactly a quarter inch from both the side and the top of the envelope.
Tara, to coworker: Can you bring a ruler over here? I need to put stamps on the Christmas cards.
Old Town
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Glad I'm not the new girl
Coworker: Do you know how many inches are in a yard?
Receptionist: Whose yard?
El Segundo, California
Overheard by: Dave
Manager to bagger: I need you to do a big favor for me… Actually, it’s not a favor so much as your job.
Food and drug store
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Sarah
