Publicist: It was amazing. Stevie could do everything. He could leave his apartment, go to the elevator, everything.
Proofer: Wow. He didn’t even need a cane?
Publicist: Of course not; he’s not that old.
1438 North Gower Street
Los Angeles, California
Accounting: You submitted a payment request for a renewal fee.
Peon: Yes.
Accounting: Can you find out how long the renewal term is for?
Peon: It says “annual renewal fee” on the invoice.
Accounting: Yeah, I saw that, but do you know when it’s valid until?
Peon: It says valid from October 31, 2005 on the invoice.
Accounting: Yeah, but can you make sure? You never know it could be for like two years or something.
3700 Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Frazzled accountant: So yes, please mail me the statement ASAP! Yes, thanks, thanks. Okay, love you.
(after a minute, to peon)
Did I just say “I love you”?
California
Customer service girl eating from Christmas popcorn tin: Ew! These are sterile!
6141 Riverside Drive
Riverside, California
Overheard by: sylvie
Employee, singing on the way down the hall: I need to change my tammmmmponnnnn
Coalinga, California
Worker: Dammit! I got a paper cut! Agh!
Boss: Better than getting stabbed with a knife, stapled in the eye, or run over by the UPS truck.
9500 Owensmouth Avenue
Chatsworth, California
Visiting sales rep: Wow, that aquarium is really cool! Is it a lot of work?
Desk owner: Thanks. It’s not too hard once it’s set up for a while.
Visiting sales rep: I’ve never seen one with all those things with testicles in it before.
Desk owner: [Silence until sales rep obliviously boards elevator.]
75 Battery Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: We didn’t buy her product.
Boss: There are many people who are much more like me than I am.
2560 9th Street
Berkeley, California
Overheard by: anonymous coward
Office drone: I'll have to tickle myself for that…
Ojai, California
Overheard by: IntellectualWhore
Employee: We just need the style guide to spell out everything, in complete detail. It’s mainly for like, legal reasons; to cover our bases.
Intern trainee: Oh. So I guess it’s like how blow-dryer labels say “do not put in mouth while in use.” Not like it’s a pressing issue, but there’s always that one retard that’s gonna fuck shit up.
Employee: Uh…sure.
Intern: OK, cool. As long as I’m getting this.
777 San Marin Drive
Novato, California
Overheard by: Max Guevara
