Head of IT: Can we get those new computers?
CFO: Sorry, it’s not in the budget this year.
He walks over to the calendar.
CFO: Hey, isn’t this last year’s calendar? When are you going to put up the correct one?
IT Drone: Sorry, a new calendar isn’t in the budget this year.
75 South Church Street
Pittsfield, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Joe
Very overweight boss, drenched in sweat while moving boxes: Exercise isn't good for fat people.
Kamloops
Canadia
Boss to new sales rep: And here is your laptop with the carrying case. The computer just goes in the bag like this and then you use the Velcro straps to strap it in. You're familiar with Velcro, right? You just push the two sides together and… (proceeds to demonstrate)
Norcross, Georgia
Female account manager: So I'm going to lunch with a guy that does female Viagra…
Female marketing director: What do you mean he does female Viagra?
Quiet Office, 5th Avenue
New York City, New York
Overheard by: i heard that!
Boss, reading e-mail out loud: “Middle cube's a bunch of sheep-shaggers”? Minus Jane*, of course! (laughs)
Coworker: Why? She could get a strap on…
Beverly, Massachusetts
Boss: Our girl is interested in technology and will pay for it!
79 5th Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Monkee
Office manager: Why aren't you wearing a tie today?
Worker: Oh, well… I'm going to see a client, so I didn't think I needed one on today.
Office manager: All the more reason to wear a tie.
Worker: Well, I'm in the office, so I didn't think that I had to wear one.
Office manager, pulling out employee handbook: It says right here: “all employees must always be dressed appropriately. Men wearing dress slacks, button-down shirt, and tie.”
Worker: Oh! See, ties don't really work for me. But that's okay, right?
Staten Island
Boss: Yeah, I was at a funeral yesterday. My friend had a three-week-old pass away.
Coworker: Man, that's awful. What happened?
Boss: Well, it's kinda funny…
Raleigh, North Carolina
Manager to another: Well…you're squishy!
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: I just work here…
Boss, about molding: I am better at injection than I am at blow.
Cincinnati, Ohio
