Secretary: Have you seen that movie The Happening?
Boss: Is that with Marky Mark?
Secretary: I think so, that's Mark Wahlberg right?
Boss: Yeah, can you feel the vibrations?
Secretary: I don't think you're allowed to ask me that.
Las Cruces, New Mexico
Boss: Whats wrong?
Red-faced receptionist: I just picked up a call and you could hear people having sex on the other line! I'm afraid to answer the phone now…
Boss: From now on, put those calls through to me.
Edmonton
Canadia
Employee: On this new printer I just installed, we can print double sided.
Crazy-haired boss lady: I don't think I can.
Employee: No, we all can now.
Crazy-haired boss lady: Well, are things double sided on your screen? I don't have anything that is double sided on my screen, so I can't print double sided.
Merrillville, Indiana
Overheard by: CJ
Subscriptions coordinator: We are hundreds of renewal letters behind–how am I supposed to send all of these out?
Zealous, oblivious manager: We'll get the whole department to help stuff envelopes. We can all be bent over a barrel at a stuffing orgy together! It will be an orgy of stuffing!
East Lansing, Michigan
Overheard by: Louise
Tired CEO, coming out of his office: Ugh. I feel like a big, huge…stuffed cabbage.
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Lowly analyst girl
Boss: He's really similar to my step dad–he had dark hair, and a long corso.
Girl: I'm sorry, a long *what*?
Boss, slowly: A long…corso?
Girl: Torso. Corset.
Boss: Hmm.
San Jose, California
Overheard by: Smarter than her boss (obviously)
Coworker: I can't believe he only gave us a 20,000$ spending limit.
Boss: Why?
Coworker: Because my daughter's first birthday was more than that! How am I going to find a place for twenty people that cheap?
Oak Brook, Illinois
Supervisor, hanging up phone with crazy caller: She said Nancy Pelosi told her she could call in.
Secretary: Who's that?
Supervisor, stunned: The Speaker of the House?
Secretary: What house?
Supervisor: The one of ill-repute down on Marshall Street.
County Courthouse
Norristownm, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Lan
Manager: Does anyone know anything about the new shift schedule?
Analyst: Karla tried to explain the new shift to me…then it got black…and I don't remember much…but then I woke up sucking my thumb and calling for my mom.
Redmond, Washington
Overheard by: Amy
Director: How do you spell “dumb”? “D-u-m” or “d-u-m-e”?
Account executive: It's “d-u-m-b.”
Director: What?
Account executive: “D-u-m-b.” B, b, b…like “boy.”
Director: What about boys?
40th & Lexington
New York City, New York
