Tonight: The Hardy Boys and the Can Opener Mystery

Manager on phone with kids: You two need to work out this SpaghettiO's issue on your own. I'm in a meeting!

Austin, Texas

Overheard by: CubeRat

Posted on May 1, 2009
Bosses, Family, Kids, Meals and Snacks, Meetings, On the phone, Texas

Remember When You Thought We Should Invade Australia?

Female team leader: Hey, Mark. I've been thinking…
Male team leader: Uh-oh. That's not good.

Wellington
New Zealand

Overheard by: Derf

Posted on April 24, 2009
Bosses, Comebacks, General Idiocy, New Zealand

That's the Last Time I'll Buy a LieBook

Boss: Why can't I open this file?
Secretary: Because you did not click on the file.
Boss: I swear this computer lies to me all the time!

Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: telling lies to the computer

Posted on April 24, 2009
Admins, Bosses, Lies, Maryland, Questions, Technology

The Payroll Office Prefers Smoke Signals

Cube dweller to boss: It showed up. I knew if I didn't respond to the e-mail, his paycheck would show up.

Broomfield, Colorado

Posted on April 22, 2009
Bosses, Colorado, Employees, Internet, Money, Weirdness

Back When We Lived in the Real America

Office manager: Back in my day, we used to go trick-or-treating with shot glasses.

Navy Yard
Washington, DC

Posted on April 22, 2009
Age and ageing, Bosses, Drinking, Washington DC

But, Thanks to Her, We've Got All Our Problems Licked

Manager talking to department: I just really want to thank Katie* for helping out last month. She really jungled a lot of balls…and some of them were pretty hairy.

Richmond, Virginia

Posted on April 21, 2009
Body Parts, Bosses, Employees, Sexuality, Virginia

Why Bill's Lovers Find Him Tedious in Bed

Boss on phone, eating cashews: Excuse me, I had a handful of nuts in my hand and put them in my mouth.
Lady on the other end: That's okay.
Boss, with mouth full of cashews: No, it's not, I apologize pitifully.

Louisville, Kentucky

Overheard by: He wasn't sorry

Posted on April 20, 2009
Body Parts, Bosses, Kentucky, Meals and Snacks, On the phone, Sexuality

If You Don't Know, He's Not Doing It Right.

Boss, yelling at employee during conference call: I need to know if this guy is jerking me off or not!

18th St.
New York City, New York

Overheard by: Cill the Obscure

Posted on April 20, 2009
Bosses, Employees, New York, On the phone, Sexuality, Weirdness

You Get My Thrust?

CEO at all-employee meeting: We want this company to get to the top. Because I don't know about you, but I have fun when I'm on top. (employees roar with laughter)

Rockville, Maryland

Overheard by: Just wanted the stock quote

Posted on April 16, 2009
Bosses, Maryland, Meetings, Sexuality

Yeah, We've Read Your Declaration on the Bathroom Wall

Company VP to entire lobby, after struggling to open the front door: Well, I've never used it before. I'm a back door kinda guy!

Kansas City, Missouri

Posted on April 16, 2009
Body Parts, Bosses, Missouri, Sexuality, Weirdness

Bosses