Waitress: Can I ask you something? This customer wants two eggs. But he wants them fried. Do we even do that here?
Manager: Um, yes. Actually most eggs are fried. There’s over easy, sunny side up, over hard…
Waitress: Oh, really? OK. Whatever.
30th & Walnut Streets
Boulder, Colorado
Overheard by: Just having oatmeal
Clerk: Okay, you have 12:45 and 1:45 subcommittees, AG is at 1:00, and Natural Resources is at 2: 00. I’m going to leave everything here on my desk and go do some work in the back office.
Senator: Do you even think I’m listening to you?
Clerk: No, not really.
State Capitol
Des Moines, Iowa
Boss interrupting employees: What’s going on?
Girl employee in middle of conversation: Are you circumcised? [Boss turns and leaves, shaking his head.]
4th Street
Louisville, Kentucky
Overheard by: Amazed Colleague
Co-worker: Does anyone have a tissue?
Boss: I have a notepad.
1600 Technology Way
Latrobe, Pennsylvania
Manager: Remember, the customer is always right.
Assistant manager: Right, except when they’re wrong.
Manager: No, they’re always right.
Assistant manager: Totally, except on the odd occasion when they’re wrong.
Manager: …you are so retarded…
557 Church Street
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Big boss at farewell party for employee: I stopped drinking soda a long time ago because I want to stop consuming all those fake sugars.
Young employee: I stopped buying soda along time ago, too, so I can have more money for alcohol.
Broadway and Wall Street
New York, New York
Boss on phone: Is this the driver who stole money from us and owes me some collard greens?
3451 North Shadeland Avenue
Indianapolis, Indiana
Drone: With all the cutbacks, re-orgs and layoffs, what is management doing to keep up morale?
Manager: It’s called a paycheck. You know, that thing that magically appears in your bank account every month? That is your motivation. Any more questions?
730 International Parkway
Richardson, Texas
Manager: Here you go.
Employee: Oh, thank goodness. This is what she’s looking for…I’m so glad you found it. I would have had to redo it right now.
Manager: I found it on your desk.
303 East Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois
Manager: So, my wife had to give me an enema this weekend. I thought I was going to die.
New girl: Are you serious?
Manager: Yes. I am always serious.
Christina Street
Sarnia, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Leoness
