Manager: Did you give up anything for lent?
Underling: Yeah. Stealing office supplies from your company. It may not be much, but I think it’s pretty good considering I’m not even Catholic.
Meacham Boulevard
Haltom, Texas
Manager: Did you give up anything for lent?
Underling: Yeah. Stealing office supplies from your company. It may not be much, but I think it’s pretty good considering I’m not even Catholic.
Meacham Boulevard
Haltom, Texas
Peon #1: Isn't that just going to make the situation worse? Man, that's going to mess everything up over there!
Commander: Well, you can't just stand in the rain and yell!
Peon #2: Ha-ha! rrrghh! I hate the rain!
Washington Navy Yard
Washington, DC
Overheard by: El Monsoon
Manager: [Elayne], sloppy seconds?
Co-worker: Sure. It’s not what it sounds like. She’s asking if I
want the second half of her teabag.
740 Dundas Street East
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Boss: Ah, you’re wearing a tie-dyed shirt.
Office girl: Isn’t it nice?
Boss: Yeah. Hey, doesn’t that circle remind you of Jake’s* asshole?
Office girl: Wait, what?
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Boss: You got hypnotized by the screen saver?
IT guy: No, I’m watching porn. This is the only screen no one else can see.
Exeter
United Kingdom
New senior manager: So… When have you ever given a shit?
Employee: I don’t know. It’s been a while.
Interstate Parkway North
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Deno
Disgruntled woman: Did you get my e-mail?
Boss: Yes, but you’re so consistently negative I didn’t bother to read it. Plus, your e-mails are always too long.
Disgruntled woman: What?
Boss: From now on, you’re limited to two paragraphs– No! Two sentences. And try to be positive for a change.
Chantilly, Virginia
Publisher: I like your Iron Maiden t-shirt.
Intern: Thanks! I thought I’d dress it up today!
600 Broad Street
Gadsden, Alabama
Overheard by: ListeningJournalist
Manager: Your breath alcohol came back at point 09. We are going to have to term your contract, and you can get a taxi to go get your stuff out of your truck and find a way home.
Driver: That’s a bummer.
7238 Western Select Drive
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: I’m Having a Good Day!
Supervisor: Where the hell have you been for the last 15 minutes?
Employee: I had to use the restroom.
Supervisor: What–all the way in the main building?
Employee: That’s the one.
Supervisor: Why not use the one over here? You just like to waste time, don’t you?
Employee: Actually, I like the soap better.
4708 Lacey Boulevard SE
Lacey, Washington
Overheard by: Chris Shard
