Co-worker: Does anyone have a tissue?
Boss: I have a notepad.
1600 Technology Way
Latrobe, Pennsylvania
Co-worker: Does anyone have a tissue?
Boss: I have a notepad.
1600 Technology Way
Latrobe, Pennsylvania
Manager: Remember, the customer is always right.
Assistant manager: Right, except when they’re wrong.
Manager: No, they’re always right.
Assistant manager: Totally, except on the odd occasion when they’re wrong.
Manager: …you are so retarded…
557 Church Street
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Big boss at farewell party for employee: I stopped drinking soda a long time ago because I want to stop consuming all those fake sugars.
Young employee: I stopped buying soda along time ago, too, so I can have more money for alcohol.
Broadway and Wall Street
New York, New York
Boss on phone: Is this the driver who stole money from us and owes me some collard greens?
3451 North Shadeland Avenue
Indianapolis, Indiana
Drone: With all the cutbacks, re-orgs and layoffs, what is management doing to keep up morale?
Manager: It’s called a paycheck. You know, that thing that magically appears in your bank account every month? That is your motivation. Any more questions?
730 International Parkway
Richardson, Texas
Manager: Here you go.
Employee: Oh, thank goodness. This is what she’s looking for…I’m so glad you found it. I would have had to redo it right now.
Manager: I found it on your desk.
303 East Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois
Manager: So, my wife had to give me an enema this weekend. I thought I was going to die.
New girl: Are you serious?
Manager: Yes. I am always serious.
Christina Street
Sarnia, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Leoness
Employee to boss: Would you like for me to list the listings?
Boss to employee: That's a bit redundant, don't you think?
Employee: Who you callin' retarded?!
Pennsylvania Ave
Washington, DC
Employee: I would really like to apologize for running late this morning. It won’t happen again.
Boss: Could you please turn your shirt right-side out?
350 Park Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Susan
Boss: Do you smell something burning?
Everyone: No. Is something burning?
Lab manager: Oh! I smell it! Guys, do you smell something burning?
Everyone: Nope.
Lab manager: Oh, well. There might be a fire. Maybe we'll all die… Whatever.
UCSD Pathology Lab
San Diego, California
Overheard by: kittymisfit
