Boss: Ah, you’re wearing a tie-dyed shirt.
Office girl: Isn’t it nice?
Boss: Yeah. Hey, doesn’t that circle remind you of Jake’s* asshole?
Office girl: Wait, what?
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Boss: Ah, you’re wearing a tie-dyed shirt.
Office girl: Isn’t it nice?
Boss: Yeah. Hey, doesn’t that circle remind you of Jake’s* asshole?
Office girl: Wait, what?
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Boss: You got hypnotized by the screen saver?
IT guy: No, I’m watching porn. This is the only screen no one else can see.
Exeter
United Kingdom
New senior manager: So… When have you ever given a shit?
Employee: I don’t know. It’s been a while.
Interstate Parkway North
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Deno
Disgruntled woman: Did you get my e-mail?
Boss: Yes, but you’re so consistently negative I didn’t bother to read it. Plus, your e-mails are always too long.
Disgruntled woman: What?
Boss: From now on, you’re limited to two paragraphs– No! Two sentences. And try to be positive for a change.
Chantilly, Virginia
Publisher: I like your Iron Maiden t-shirt.
Intern: Thanks! I thought I’d dress it up today!
600 Broad Street
Gadsden, Alabama
Overheard by: ListeningJournalist
Manager: Your breath alcohol came back at point 09. We are going to have to term your contract, and you can get a taxi to go get your stuff out of your truck and find a way home.
Driver: That’s a bummer.
7238 Western Select Drive
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: I’m Having a Good Day!
Supervisor: Where the hell have you been for the last 15 minutes?
Employee: I had to use the restroom.
Supervisor: What–all the way in the main building?
Employee: That’s the one.
Supervisor: Why not use the one over here? You just like to waste time, don’t you?
Employee: Actually, I like the soap better.
4708 Lacey Boulevard SE
Lacey, Washington
Overheard by: Chris Shard
Waitress: Can I ask you something? This customer wants two eggs. But he wants them fried. Do we even do that here?
Manager: Um, yes. Actually most eggs are fried. There’s over easy, sunny side up, over hard…
Waitress: Oh, really? OK. Whatever.
30th & Walnut Streets
Boulder, Colorado
Overheard by: Just having oatmeal
Clerk: Okay, you have 12:45 and 1:45 subcommittees, AG is at 1:00, and Natural Resources is at 2: 00. I’m going to leave everything here on my desk and go do some work in the back office.
Senator: Do you even think I’m listening to you?
Clerk: No, not really.
State Capitol
Des Moines, Iowa
Boss interrupting employees: What’s going on?
Girl employee in middle of conversation: Are you circumcised? [Boss turns and leaves, shaking his head.]
4th Street
Louisville, Kentucky
Overheard by: Amazed Colleague
