VP to assistant: Remember that one day, when we were doing it and we were on a conference call at the same time? That was a good day.
Fontana, California
VP to assistant: Remember that one day, when we were doing it and we were on a conference call at the same time? That was a good day.
Fontana, California
CIO: That’s okay, I had typed out several comments on how stupid this was. However, I deleted them when I realized you might dig into the history and find out I was the idiot who requested them.
Peon: A CIO with a sense of humor is a dangerous thing.
2301 Maguire Boulevard
Columbia, Missouri
Worker: Crap. It’s Wednesday afternoon and I already have Friday brain.
842 South 2nd Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Assistant #1: Do you know what they used to use to get the color in red velvet cake?
Assistant #2: Blood?
Assistant #1: No. Beets.
Assistant #2: That's disgusting.
Supervisor: Compared to your guess?
Sacramento, California
Supervisor: I didn’t just say that to him because he’s gay, I would’ve said the same thing to you.
Worker: Oh yeah? How do you know I’m not gay?
Supervisor: I don’t. Are you?
Worker: Yes.
Supervisor: Okay then, have a nice day…
716 West Genesee Street
Syracuse, New York
Secretary: You can’t do that!
VP: I’m like Bush. I answer to God.
Secretary: You answer to me!
VP: Isn’t that what I just said?
10559 Citation Drive
Brighton, Michigan
Overheard by: Abigail Fisher
Supervisor: Okay, let me give you some advice. I’ve seen a lot of Lifetime movies, and–
Employee: You know, I think I gotta ask someone else about this. Thanks, though!
107 Jackson Street
Berea, Kentucky
A supervisor walks up to the back of a free-standing file cabinet.
Supervisor: How do I open this?
Employee: You go around to the front and open the door.
8 King Road
Rockleigh, New Jersey
Manager to clumsy coworker: You’re about as graceful as a seven-legged octopus with a muscle spasm!
Fast food joint
Fayetteville, Arkansas
Overheard by: Dubird
Boss: What’s your password? I want to sign in and test the new system we set up.
Office gal: ‘Detonate.’
Boss: [Silence.]Office gal: What? I like typing ‘Detonate’ and hitting ‘Enter’! It’s extremely satisfying!
60 East 42nd Street
New York, New York
