Boss: So what school did you go to again?
Worker: The University of Illinois.
Boss: Right…that's an Ivy League school, right?
Worker: (stunned silence)
Boston, Massachusetts
Boss: So what school did you go to again?
Worker: The University of Illinois.
Boss: Right…that's an Ivy League school, right?
Worker: (stunned silence)
Boston, Massachusetts
Female CS manager: So I'm talking to this guy, and he goes “so you're the supervisor huh, I bet you've got a fat ass.”
Female assistant: I remember that, I was still back here then.
Female CS manager: I was like “oh my god, is he looking in the window?”
Delran, New Jersey
Overheard by: Bruce Banner
Coworker: Did you hear? Jerry Brown is our new Attorney General!
Boss: That’s it! Open up all the prisons! Set the prisoners free! And give them all marijuana on the way out!
708 Fiero Lane
San Luis Obispo, California
Director: I haven't slept in 10 days!
Worker bee: Vickie has an amulet–try that.
Redmond, Washington
Boss to underling: What does “lol” mean?
Underling: “Laughing out loud.”
Boss: Oh, good, I thought it was “lots of love.”
Breakwater
Australia
Branch manager: Your monitor is so bright! I love it! It’s got to be the brightest screen in this office!
Sales guy: Uhhh…
Branch manager: It’s like a hospital computer or something! It’s that bright!
Sales guy: … Well, I was out sick last week…
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Very pregnant blonde, about husband's golf game: You'll never guess what Richard shot.
Obnoxious boss: His load, obviously!
San Antonio, Texas
Manager: Yeah, my uncle owns a car lot — he’s a Jew.
Worker: Oh, your uncle is Jewish?
Manager: No, he just rips people off.
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: She did not just say that!
Recruiter for aid programs in Afghanistan: I talked with one Mark Johnson* — an 82-year-old WWII vet. He doesn’t hear well, but would love to see some combat. I told him that I would see what we could arrange.
Manager: Ummm…
Recruiter: Dude, sarcasm?
7250 Woodmont Avenue
Bethesda, Maryland
Manager: Okay everyone, here are some ways you can spot a shoplifter–
Associate: Just look for someone that looks like a Gypsy.
Manager: That’s really not appropriate.
Associate: I’m telling you, they’re all over Italy!
3200 S. Las Vegas Boulevard
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Cathie
