Bimbettes

Raise Your Hand If You Assumed “Get My Freak On” Meant Something Else

White attorney,at deposition: Are there any activities you used to do before the accident that you can no longer do?
Trinidadian woman, 55: I can’t get my freak on anymore.
White attorney, smiling: Remember, I have to report this to a bunch of other white people. How often did you used to freak before the accident?
Trinidadian woman: Oh, I went to dance clubs all the time. Plus I used to go hiking all the time.
White attorney: And by “hiking,” you mean walking on nature trails, right? I mean, that’s not some hip-hop slang, right?
Trinidadian woman: Yeah, just walking up mountains and stuff.

Brooklyn, New York

Overheard by: Big Larry

Ad: “With Our New Space-Saving Invention, Now You Can Be a Slut– Even on the Go!”

Frustrated girl: My stripper shoes won't fit in my bag!

Surry Hills
Sydney
Australia

So I Just Tell Them to Go Home

Girl: How many pieces of fish in the six pack?
Manager: Are you serious?
Girl: Well, I don’t know what to say to customers.

Brisbane, Queensland
Australia

I’m Thinking of Knitting One

Cute chick holding up ballpoint pen: How does this work?

250 Bloor Street
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: working on a manual

Why Crocs Exist

Office bimbette: Oh my god, that place is so weird. I hate going there with all those guys. I have to make sure I look really ugly when I go there.

São Paulo
Brazil

Overheard by: at least she doesn't have to try that hard…

Nebraska?

Fashionista: We live in the dumbest world on the planet.

1212 6th Avenue
New York, New York

When Will Those Long Nights at the Truckstop Pay Off?

Office girl #1: I have a canker sore.
Office girl #2: Maybe it’s herpes.
Office girl #1: No — I wish.

971 Coley Drive
Mountain Home, Arkansas

Overheard by: data entry girl

We’d Have to Ask Tyra Banks’s Photographers about That

Office hottie: I don’t know how easy it is to Photoshop arm fat into muscle.

Newtown Square, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Boner Police

But I’m Thinking about Canceling My Slut License

Bartender: I was sitting at the bar having a beer before work, and an old lady came up and gave me the nicest compliment.
Manager: Oh, yeah? What did she say?
Bartender: She told me that I was a very pretty girl and I should get up off the barstool and quit being a slut all my life.
Manager: So, she really called you a slut.
Bartender: Well… I guess she did.

405 N Interurban Avenue
Richardson, Texas

“Drink Yourself a Blanket,” the First World War's Most Popular Marching Song

Model #1: You've got goosebumps, baby!
Model #2: Is the door propped open? It's fucking freezing in here!
Model #3: Have some more wine. Drink yourself a blanket.

Gallery Opening
San Francisco, California

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