As Required by the Laws of This State, I Hereby Sentence You to 6 Months of the History Channel

Blonde: What’s your last name?
Brunette: Monroe.
Blonde: Oh! Are you related to Marilyn Monroe?
Brunette: No, but I am related to the president.
Blonde: George Bush?? No way!

60 Wall Street
New York, New York

Posted on February 26, 2015
Bimbettes, General Idiocy, New York

When Your Job Is Over Hard

Waitress: Can I ask you something? This customer wants two eggs. But he wants them fried. Do we even do that here?
Manager: Um, yes. Actually most eggs are fried. There’s over easy, sunny side up, over hard…
Waitress: Oh, really? OK. Whatever.

30th & Walnut Streets
Boulder, Colorado

Overheard by: Just having oatmeal

Posted on February 5, 2015
Bimbettes, Bosses and Underlings, Colorado, General Idiocy, Meals and Snacks, Service

1PM Lunch

Co-worker #1: I like working with you guys, ’cause you guys are wild.
Co-worker #2: My “wild” fell off a long time ago.

1301 Riverplace Boulevard
Jacksonville, Florida

Overheard by: Sum Ting

Posted on January 25, 2015
Admins, Bimbettes, People

I Don’t Want Too Much Blood Reaching My Brain

Bimbette #1: Oh my gosh, this choker is, like, choking me! Can you loosen it, please?
Bimbette #2: Yeah. Do you want it, like, way looser?
Bimbette #1: Yeah… Oh my gosh, it’s so tight it’s cutting into my– Well, I know girls don’t have Adam’s apples, but it’s cutting in right there!
Bimbette #2: Is that better?
Bimbette #1: No. It’s too loose. It needs to be tighter.

Scottsdale, Arizona

Posted on January 12, 2015
Arizona, Bimbettes, General Idiocy

I don’t foresee a lot of sudoku success for her.

Office bimbette: So, my friend got me a Sudoku book, but I can’t start doing it yet because she has to send the Sudoku pencil. It has an eraser on the end — only Sudoku makes them that way.

Auckland
New Zealand

Overheard by: Sarah

Posted on December 29, 2014
Bimbettes, Default, Dumb Employees, General Idiocy, New Zealand

Raise Your Hand If You Assumed “Get My Freak On” Meant Something Else

White attorney,at deposition: Are there any activities you used to do before the accident that you can no longer do?
Trinidadian woman, 55: I can’t get my freak on anymore.
White attorney, smiling: Remember, I have to report this to a bunch of other white people. How often did you used to freak before the accident?
Trinidadian woman: Oh, I went to dance clubs all the time. Plus I used to go hiking all the time.
White attorney: And by “hiking,” you mean walking on nature trails, right? I mean, that’s not some hip-hop slang, right?
Trinidadian woman: Yeah, just walking up mountains and stuff.

Brooklyn, New York

Overheard by: Big Larry