Boss: Can you help me with this Word document? I want to change it so that the layout is horizontal instead of vertical.
Secretary: Okay, go into File, then Page Setup.
Boss: Yep.
Secretary: You see where it says “Page Source”?
Boss: Yep.
Secretary: Okay. Now you see where it says “Orientation”? Make your choice.
Boss: Gay or straight?
525 Collins Street
Melbourne, Victoria
Australia
Overheard by: Captain Pants
Customer: Hey, where's my fucking wasabi, bitch?
Sushi girl: I don't think you asked for…
Manager: I don't know. But I can tell you this–it'll be up your fucking arse if your manners don't improve.
Sushi girl: Wanker!
Manager: Don't swear at work.
Adelaide, Australia
Worker: Bower birds are cool — they’ve got it going on. Cassowaries are cool, too. They can eat a dog.
Leederville
Perth
Western Australia
Overheard by: Going on holidays
Office chick #1: But why does she do that?
Office chick #2: It doesn’t matter — her boyfriend is so gay!
Melbourne
Australia
Receptionist shouting down hallway: Stop talking about me, Cindy*! I can hear you talking about me!
Cindy: [Keeps talking.]Receptionist: [Rings Cindy.]Cindy: Hello?
Receptionist: Stop talking about me — I can hear you talking about me!
Cindy: Who is this?
Douglas Street
Milton
Australia
Overheard by: Supaflyrocksta
Phone monkey to supervisor getting beer out of bag: So, can I drink this at my desk or do I have to go outside?
Government Call Centre
Canberra
Australia
Secretary squeaking loudly, about coworker's hedge: Wow! I love your bush, it's so pretty!
Perth
Australia
Overheard by: Michael
Co-worker on phone: Hi [Victor], I was just calling about the new nano covers. They are priced the same and everything but one comes with a little white strap and the other comes with a big black one…So it’s just the customer’s choice whether they want a big black one or a little white one?
432 St. Kilda Road
Melbourne, Victoria
Australia
Overheard by: Data Monkey
Co-worker: There were so many Jews in the concentration camps. Why didn’t some of them join together and try and fight the Nazis?
195 Turbot Street
Brisbane, Queensland
Australia
