Worker #1: We need a slogan for our Easter egg hunt and party. One that lets the kids know they will get to play with really fun bunnies and get to also hunt Easter eggs. Something that says “fun for all.”
Worker #2: How about “Kids bunny bash!”?
Worker #1: Yeah! Wait… what?
Day Care Center
Banning, California
Yelling large lady in yellow shirt, entering bathroom: Dontcha wish you were a bird so you could just take a crap whenever ya wanted? (slams door) You could shit on the floor, on people's heads, never have to run and hope ya make it!
Temecula, California
Social worker: I have no feelings about ferrets. No feelings at all.
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: animal lover
Girl: My cats chewed through my computer's power cord this morning. (sighs) I guess I'm going to have to bite the bullet and buy a new one.
Apple guy: Or you could use that bullet to shoot your cats!
(girl stares at him)
Apple guy: Uh… I take back that comment heartily.
Apple Store
Portland, Maine
Overheard by: Misaki
Manager to worker: Did you get some sun this weekend?
Worker, sheepishly: Yeah.
Manager with gusto: Man, you're redder than a dick on a dog!
Southlake, Texas
Office worker to receptionist: I would have been here an hour and a half ago but the goats got out.
Chattanooga, Tennessee
Coworker #1: Well, I climbed over the fence and knew that it hurt for some reason, but I didn't realize it was an electric fence until I climbed back over a second time.
Coworker #2: So you're pretty much telling us that cows have more sense than you?
Nashville, Tennessee
Designer to himself: I can't fit a friggin unicorn between a tiger and a dragon!
Alpharetta, Georgia
Overheard by: cube ninja
Department supervisor: What possessed you to throw the cow at the wall?
Office guy: Because… it… sticks to things!
Brooklyn Center, Minnesota
Overheard by: Moo…
Woman: So, you're taking your daughter swimming today?
Man: Yeah, her first lesson is doggy style.
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: I didn't think we lived in West Virgina
