Administrator (filling water bottle at cooler): Hey.
Office worker (walking by): Hey.
Administrator: How are you?
Office worker: Good.
Administrator: How is the baby?
Office worker: Fat.
Hanover Square
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Mr. Uncreative
Legal secretary: And then the phone calls started to peter out.
Paralegal: What? Peter? As in “dick”?
Legal secretary: No! “Peter out” means “to come slowly to an end.”
Paralegal: Oh. (pauses) Still sounds a lot like a dick.
Greenwood, South Carolina
Overheard by: Wondering if everything has to be naughty
Admin: You need a haircut.
Service guy: I need to go club some baby seals.
Irvine, California
Overheard by: i just answer the phone…
Manager to another: I'm more comfortable with the Shakespearean heroines than the ducklings.
San Francisco
Female manager to the ladies in the office: Are you trying to kill me? If you're going to use the lemon spray in the ladies room please spray upwards and not down on the floor. If you're trying to kill me, there are better ways…
Los Angeles, California
Boss: That's a great idea! Why didn't we think of that before? Wait… Is that legal?
Office manager: No.
Boss, hanging head: Awwwww…
Sarasota, Florida
Techie: We should close the front doors or turn off the a/c to save some power, since it's blackout season.
Bad admin: I can tell you're paid on salary.
Techie: Uh, hmm?
Bad admin: I get paid hourly, therefore I like blackouts. If there's a blackout, I get to sit at my desk and do nothing for a few hours.
Santa Barbara, California
Manager, philosophically: Whores have their time and place… They serve a purpose too.
Chico, California
Female cube dweller: We're moving next week, but it's taking forever to get everything packed. Michael is such an anal packer.
Charleston, South Carolina
