Owner: Oh shit. I just spilled tequila on the church fliers.
Jonesboro, Arizona
Overheard by: Mark Knight
Worker bee: So my computer crashed.
Manager: So? Tell the technicians, not me.
Worker bee: No, I mean “crashed onto the floor of my office.”
Manager: What?
Worker bee: I told you the new desks were crap.
Canary Wharf
London
England
Overheard by: Hopeing the floors hold
Woman to HR director: Can I get workers compensation for pulling my twat muscle?
HR director: What’s a twat muscle?
Dallas, Texas
Coworker: I like the chair idea, otherwise I'm afraid someone will get hurt.
Manhattan, New York
Worker #1: Where's Tina*? (administrative assistant)?
Worker #2: She's out sick. She broke her leg, so we shot her.
Camden, New Jersey
Overheard by: HR Min
Boss: Do you smell something burning?
Everyone: No. Is something burning?
Lab manager: Oh! I smell it! Guys, do you smell something burning?
Everyone: Nope.
Lab manager: Oh, well. There might be a fire. Maybe we'll all die… Whatever.
UCSD Pathology Lab
San Diego, California
Overheard by: kittymisfit
Customer, looking at a damaged mobile home: How did that happen?
Mechanic: The guy put it on cruise control and went into the back to make a sandwich.
Repair Center
England
Overheard by: Rob
Coworker: I hope that Gustav comes through and knocks the computers down for three days.
Blonde coworker: Oh yeah… Is that the new IT guy?
Coworker: Umm, no, that is the hurricane.
Houston, Texas
Coworker: So it'll be a big circle-jerk, a big emergency.
Ventura, California
Loud coworker on phone: Yeah, well, I haven't been having much sex… (pause) I mean success! …with that… either. (pause) Uh, I have to go…
Louisville, Colorado
Overheard by: Jen
