Woman, calmly on phone in office: I'm forwarding a YouTube video David sent me. He thinks it's your house on fire.
Houston, Texas
Woman, calmly on phone in office: I'm forwarding a YouTube video David sent me. He thinks it's your house on fire.
Houston, Texas
Office worker: I ran 16 miles last night.
Rep: You ran 16 miles… I ran for 12 minutes. Does that count?
Office worker: I am training for a marathon. I came home at 10 pm last night and my knees were all bloody.
Rep: Oh, did you fall?
Office worker: Yeah, twice.
Rep: And you kept on running?
Office worker: Yeah.
Rep: The only thing coming out of my veins is booze!
Buffalo, New York
Coworker on phone: Didn't you hear? The pole broke and the stripper hurt herself!
Sterling, Virginia
Overheard by: Receptionist
Girl: My mom dropped a plate and it shattered all over the floor and she cut her foot pretty bad. I was cleaning up the pieces…
Guy: Was it a paper plate?
(girl stares at him)
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: And he's not even blonde…
Male manager: You weren't in another accident, were you?
Female cube dweller: No. I pooped.
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Cube Dweller
Coworker wandering lobby, on cell: Why are you going to be late this time? What do you mean the camel got loose and knocked over the “wheel of death!”
The Red Brick Hell House
Upper Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: Lackey
Coworker #1: Did you hear I broke my shoulder?
Coworker #2: How are you able to walk?
Saugerties, New York
Smoking coworker, making a cigarette “dance”, singing: It's that time again, time for a kiss with my smoky friend.
Receptionist: Were you dropped on your head as a child?
Smoking coworker: Actually, I was!
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Amused
Employee #1: So my car got hit in the parking lot yesterday.
Clueless employee: Yeah, I've gotten banged a few times in the parking lot.
Employee #2, choking on bagel: Cough, cough!
Clueless employee: Wow, are you okay?
Employee #2: Yeah, (coughs) I need to leave the room… fast.
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: That's what she said…
Old hen: My granddaughter wants to ride on a fire truck in the parade, who should I call?
Fire dept. rep: We don't do that anymore, because of the liability.
Old hen: What liability?
Fire dept. rep: Some silly kid will be jumping around all excited and fall off the truck and break their head, and then the parents will sue us for a zillion dollars.
Old hen: Well, not if it was the kid's fault, they wouldn't.
Fire dept. rep: What cartoon planet are you from, exactly?
Oregon
Overheard by: b-mac
