Male salesperson on phone to female customer: But I can't do that. I can give you a six-inch white one or an eight-inch brown one. I don't have an eight-inch white one!
Majestic Parkway
Bedford Heights, Ohio
Male salesperson on phone to female customer: But I can't do that. I can give you a six-inch white one or an eight-inch brown one. I don't have an eight-inch white one!
Majestic Parkway
Bedford Heights, Ohio
Paralegal #1: I'll be right back. Don't tell anyone, I'm just gonna go take the boss's car for a spin. And I'm gonna go 113 miles per hour.
Paralegal #2: Have fun!
Law Firm
Indiana
Boss: It's okay to say “masturbation.”
Worker: Okay. He masturbates to his grandma's underwear.
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: why do i work here
Boy, at 2:30 am: Hi, can I have 240 nuggets?
McDonald's
Halifax, Nova Scotia
Canadia
Boss, offhandedly: I love this company. I want to have sexual relations with this company.
Confused employee: You mean…in the company building? Or…with the company?
Southern California
Suit #1: Yo, you tried that new Office?
Suit #2: What?
Suit #1: That new Microsoft Office 2008, 2009 or whatever.
Suit #2: Yeah.
Suit #1: That shit is hot!
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: algernon
President, emerging from bathroom: That smell in the bathroom is equal parts chamomile, lavender, and my poop.
1st Avenue
Seattle, Washington
Boss, discovering an unused file cabinet: We can get babies and let them nap in here!
Los Angeles, California
Manager: So there was this one time I spent $600 on snack foods.
Clerk #1: What?
Manager: Yeah, my friend and I went to the grocery store and bought a ton of food, but we also decided to bring along his cat in a backpack, and then we let him out in the store because we figured he was old and wouldn't escape…but he did. We lost him in the store, and then we left.
Clerk #2: You just left the cat behind?!
Manager: There's no stopping the Frito Bandito.
Maine Mall
Portland, Maine
