Office negative Nelly: I don't know what I'm going to do. But the next time I get paid, I'm going to do something strange and weird with it.
Positive sidekick: Really? Strange and weird?
Office negative Nelly: Okay, maybe not weird, but definitely strange. There's a difference?
Chicago, Illinois
Cubicle dweller on phone: If I didn't see gay sex when the server started, I'd be worried.
Itasca, Illinois
Accounting #1: So I'm not sure how she got the idea to put ham on the fan blades. Maybe tv? I don't think ham is really salient to most people. But I can see tying something up there to watch it spin around…
Accounting #2: Maybe some shiny paper or something like that, I guess.
Accounting #1: Or headless Barbie dolls.
Accounting #2: Sometimes I wonder about you.
Accounting #1: Headless Barbie dolls wrapped in ham.
Omaha, Nebraska
19-year-old intern: I’m totally getting laid tonight and I have my dad to thank for it!
State and Water Street
Peoria, Illinois
Nurse to doctor: I mean, you've got to have something to live for.
Doctor to nurse: Yeah, you at least gotta be able to fuck somebody or piss somebody off.
Nurse to doctor: And from what I hear, you're great at both!
Springfield, Illinois
Overheard by: SWARD
PR exec #1: I just heard he's coming to the meeting tomorrow, after all.
PR exec #2: So he's sick of the person from his basement, then?
London
Ontario
Canadia
Loan processor, looking in horror at her desk: Oh, my god, the president used my slut pen!
Hopkinsville, Kentucky
Peon #1: There's sperm on the President's head!
Peon #2: I'm really glad that I know you're talking about your Obama Chia Pet.
Fremont, Washington
Overheard by: I guess he's a grower, not a shower.
Secretary to another: Do you know whose toenail clippings are in the conference room under the table?
Raleigh, North Carolina
Grad student: Everything is unisex these days, even a vagina.
Laboratory
Charleston, South Carolina
