Boss during meeting: As long as they can get sixty people there, we'll make it happen. If they want to see a monkey fucking a football, we'll make it happen.
Manhattan, New York
Boss during meeting: As long as they can get sixty people there, we'll make it happen. If they want to see a monkey fucking a football, we'll make it happen.
Manhattan, New York
Female office worker: I'll take care of it. I have great attention to detail, I'm very anal retentive about that sort of thing. Anytime you want anal, I'm your girl.
(15 seconds of silence) I think that came out wrong. You know what I meant, right?
Boss: Well, okay, team, looks like we have that one assigned. Moving on…
Anaheim, California
Maintenance worker: Word association– linoleum!
New Brunswick, New Jersey
Overheard by: Rhys
Manager: This chair has no balls!
Oregon
Overheard by: killerwhales
Coworker on cell: I have a confession to make fast, horse peeps! Are you ready for this? (pause) The reason I have to go home is to do number two. Because last time I think it came out like a subway sandwich. And the toilet doesn?t work upstairs anymore. (pause) Yes, that was me! So there, I feel better now.
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: Trevor Arnold
Male administrative assistant on phone: It's great that I am eccentric, it means I can be deviant most of the time.
Rockville, Maryland
Overheard by: watching the clock
Office hottie, after office creepster has poked her: Ouch! What was that for?
Office creepster: I just always wondered what it'd be like to poke you.
Office hottie: Oh. It didn't do much for me. How was it for you?
Office creepster: Fucking magic!
Auckland
New Zealand
Overheard by: Kiwibloke
Manager: So to get to know each other a little better I'm going to ask you all to answer this question: if you were an animal, what would it be? I'd be a cat, I think.
Cashier #1: A chinchilla. They're cute.
Cashier #2: A guinea pig, because they're awesome.
Cashier #3: A bird, so I could shit on anybody who tried to shit on me.
(long awkward pause)
Manager: Okay. That's a good answer too.
Selinsgrove, Pennsylvania
Lawyer, seeking environmental expert: Yeah, I need a water-and-shit guy. I have the traffic expert already, at least.
Huntington, New York
