Coworker exiting elevator: I am looking for god, goddammit!
Manhattan, New York
Office drone: During NASCAR I'm the designated driver, because I'm on drugs!
Sand Springs, Oklahoma
Boss: They're firing a warning shot over the left bow.
Dayton, Ohio
Cube girl, answering phone: This is Julia*.
Voice on phone: Pussy, pussy.
Cube girl: Oh my god, John*! (her husband) I have you on speaker!
Anchorage, Alaska
Radio operator, during long C-130 flight: Pilot…
Pilot: Go.
Radio operator: Can we do a snap roll?
Pilot: Yes, but only once.
Alaska
Copywriter #1: Hey, Margaret Atwood's coming out with her own brand of coffee.
Copywriter #2: That'll be the weirdest coffee ever!
Copywriter #3: It'll taste like… Birds!
Ontario
Canadia
Coworker: Okay, have a good weekend. I'm off to a sweet sixteen party. (pause) From Bloomsday to sweet sixteen: the sublime to the ridiculous.
Manhattan, New York
Male employee: Just came over to check and see how cool it is over on this side.
Female employee #1: It gets warmer the further down the room you get.
Female employee #2: You can sit under my desk, it's really cool under there, you can just have a seat all day.
Delran, New Jersey
Overheard by: b
IT director, leaving: If anyone needs me, I'll be in the storage room trying to hang myself. I can't deal with this shit anymore.
Kansas City, Missouri
