Employee in back room of shop: That chubby little boy who used to walk past my house every day is now a stripper!
Mount Vernon, Washington
Overheard by: HeatherC
Employee in back room of shop: That chubby little boy who used to walk past my house every day is now a stripper!
Mount Vernon, Washington
Overheard by: HeatherC
Nurse: How have your bowel movements been?
Elderly man: Oh, very good, thank you! Would you like to see?
Hospital
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Molly
Payroll clerk to another: So, whenever anyone says ‘payroll,’ I stab someone and piss myself!
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Goin’ Payroll
Trainer: My wife collects bolts of fabric and weaponry… I collect books, DVDs, and Black Plague memorabilia…
Attendee: Ummm, I collect coins…
Redmond, Washington
Overheard by: Bored in Training
Designer: If you want to save money on groceries, go to the ghetto and go to their Safeway. Their prices are cheaper. Or go to their discount grocery store. It’s even cheaper, but most of the signs are in Spanish or some other language I don’t speak. And you can find some of the weirdest food!
2001 Lind Avenue SW
Renton, Washington
Disgruntled worker: It would be easier if people just walked around with shirts that said, ‘I steal shit.’
University of Washington
Seattle, Washington
Boss who never listens: I need you to pick up the trash in the parking lot before the bank comes today.
Worker: Pork chop sandwiches!
Boss who never listens: Okay, great, let me know when you are done.
Lakewood, Washington
Cubicle drone to neighbor: They don't want to be dicks. It's like they want us to be their surrogate dicks.
Redmond, Washington
Coworker to office: Woo-hoo! I'm almost done with my list! Then I'm going to have a little party with myself! Um… That didn't sound good.
Seattle, Washington
Boss: Because Mike played that song so damn much. He had such a man crush on Justin. (pause) Yeah, but you're not a man. (pause) You're not a little, tiny man who looks like Harry Potter.
Woodinville, Washington
