Much Easier to Swallow Than Madonna

Cashier: Will this be all?
Lady: I also want one Kabbalah. [Cashier looks at her, puzzled.] This dessert [points into case].
Cashier: Baklava, ma’am.

Port of Piraeus Café, 13th Street NW
Washington, DC

Posted on January 16, 2015
Dumb Customers, General Idiocy, Washington DC

Jack Spratt for the Twenty-First Century

Intern: I’ve never had butt sex. I’m saving it for marriage. Since I’m not a virgin anymore, I have to save something for my husband.
Friend: You’re so dumb. You should have done what I did. I ONLY have butt sex, so I’m still a virgin.

Pour House Bar, Capital Hill
Washington, District of Columbia

Posted on January 12, 2015
Body Parts, Friends, General Idiocy, Interns & Temps, Possible Sexual Harassment, Relationships, Sexuality, Washington DC

I'll Leave That to the Political Appointees

Lady suit: My goal is not to be an idiot.

Navy Yard
Washington, DC

Posted on January 7, 2015
General Idiocy, Suits, Washington DC, Wishes

…Once I Take These Pumps Off

Receptionist on phone: I'll be shorter than a midget on his knees!

Washington Navy Yard
Washington, DC

Posted on January 7, 2015
Body Parts, Compare and contrast, Default, Health & Hygiene, On the phone, Receptionists, The Military, Washington DC

Now I'm Requesting Sick Leave

Coworker: Just to let you know, I need to leave at noon today because I have a leak.
Office manager: That sounds like a personal problem.

Navy Yard
Washington, DC

Posted on January 7, 2015
Bosses, Employees, General Idiocy, Health & Hygiene, Washington DC

Haresh Will Be Doubly Confused When an Earthquake Hits DC

Middle management guy: What's shaking?
Indian tech guy: What is shaking? You want me to stop something from shaking?
Middle management guy: No, I…
Indian tech guy: Are you having a technology crisis? Is your desktop vibrating?
Middle management guy: No! How's it going? How are you, is what I'm asking.
Indian tech guy: Oh, I see. I am fine. Is your desktop alright, though?
Middle management guy: Yes, yes. Everything is working. (sighs)

Washington, DC