Jeez, You Don’t Leave Me Much Room to Maneuver

Co-Worker #1: Hey, I got a new joke. Anyone want to hear it?
Co-Worker #2: Not if it involves poop.
Co-Worker #3: Or chickens.

Washington, DC

Overheard by: disturbed

Posted on February 23, 2015
Animals, Comebacks, Coworkers, Offers and requests, Restroom, Washington DC

I Get the Deduction — That’s What Counts

Cashier to customer #1: Awww, how cute! Is he your son?
Customer #2: No, he’s my son.
Cashier, pointing to customer #1: Are you sure? He looks like his son!

Government building
Washington, DC

Posted on February 21, 2015
Customer Service, Family members, Questions, Washington DC

This Is the End, My Only Friend, the End

Female cube dweller, to no one in particular: The grapes in the cafeteria are going soft on me.

Washington, DC

Posted on February 20, 2015
Body Parts, Coworkers, Meals and Snacks, Substance Use & Abuse, Washington DC

Reader Poll: What's Going on Here?

Peon #1: Isn't that just going to make the situation worse? Man, that's going to mess everything up over there!
Commander: Well, you can't just stand in the rain and yell!
Peon #2: Ha-ha! rrrghh! I hate the rain!

Washington Navy Yard
Washington, DC

Overheard by: El Monsoon

Posted on February 12, 2015
Advice, Bosses and Underlings, Questions, The Military, Washington DC, Weirdness

See, Isn’t This Better Than the Lincoln Memorial?

Enthusiastic teen boy: This is the Borders where Teddy got his handjob!

Washington, DC

Posted on February 11, 2015
Gossip, Kids, Washington DC

This Kruller May Have a Hole, But You Complete Me.

Male coworker, after being given a fresh donut: I don't think I could be anymore of your friend than I am right now.
Female coworker: Yeah, it just peaked out.

Washington, DC

Overheard by: Doughnut King

Posted on February 10, 2015
Coworkers, Meals and Snacks, Relationships, Washington DC

At Camp Marion Barry

Military personnel: Adam* looks like hell this morning — like he was smoking crack all night. Adam, you are a civilian, right?
Adam: Yes.
Military personnel: Ah, then it’s alright. You don’t get drug-tested like us. Smoke all the crack you want.

Washington, DC

Posted on February 7, 2015
Coworkers, Government, Questions, Substance Use & Abuse, Washington DC

Unless It Counts When He Sticks His Nose in My Crotch

Coworker #1: How's the new dog?
Coworker #2: It's a shitload of work. I haven't been out in weeks.
Coworker #1: Really? That sucks!
Coworker #2: I think my dog is turning me asexual.

Washington, DC

Posted on January 30, 2015
Animals, Coworkers, Questions, Sexuality, Washington DC, Weirdness

And Sober Now, Thank God

Peon: I’ve seen her before at bars, but now she’s just different… She’s more cold now.
Intern: It’s just sobriety. It changes people.
Peon: Good point. Wait, aren’t you, like, 19?
Intern, offended: I’m 20.

F Street
Washington, DC

Posted on January 28, 2015
Interns & Temps, Substance Use & Abuse, Washington DC

5PM That’s a Wrap

Office worker: Can you come in tomorrow, say, 6PM?
Intern: Naw, I got my fencing class.
Office worker: What?
Intern: You know, just in case the English attack again.

717 D Street NW
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Dannie Boyer

Posted on January 26, 2015
Coworkers, General Idiocy, Interns & Temps, Washington DC

Washington DC