Boss: If he does that I’m going to go down there and beat the fucking crap out of him. They will have to call the cops just to refrain me.
120 Broadway
New York, NY
Overheard by: Training Sherpa
Boss: If he does that I’m going to go down there and beat the fucking crap out of him. They will have to call the cops just to refrain me.
120 Broadway
New York, NY
Overheard by: Training Sherpa
Security lady: The first thing you gotta do, you gotta kill all the witnesses.
150 5th Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: Animal
Boss: I need this like I need a second crucifixion.
512 7th Avenue
New York, NY
Coworker: Those people in the Tsunami, they deserved to die. They were being greedy, collecting fish from the sea…they should have known there are three phases of a Tsunami.
60 Livingston Avenue
St. Paul, Minnesota
Boss: So I hear you had a record streak of sleeping with 16 straight women on the first date.
Worker: Yes.
Boss: So what did you do to #17 who broke the streak?
Worker: I slapped her.
Boss: Wow.
450 7th Avenue
New York, NY
Co-worker: I love my boss; she’s the stick I use to hit other people with.
557 Church Street
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Employee: Damn it! I broke my speaker phone. I’ve punched it hundreds of times before and it hasn’t broken…
6300 Diagonal Highway
Boulder, Colorado
Co-worker #1: Whenever you pass by there’s never anyone in there.
Co-worker #2: It’s probably a Front.
Co-worker #1: It is a front; there’s a fight club going on in the back room.
Co-worker #3: I know a guy that works at one of those.
Co-worker #1: He works at a fight club?
685 Cathcart Street
Montreal, Quebec
Canadia
Overheard by: Timmy O’ Toole
A handicapped client has had to be restrained for assaulting a staff.
Co-worker #1: Your behaviour was completely out of line. You hit me, tried to bite me and pissed all over my leg. How would you like it if I pissed on you if I was angry at you?
Client: I wouldn’t like it.
Co-worker #1: Hey [Jake], when you are angry at your girlfriend, do you piss all over her and try to bite her?
Co-worker #2: No, I don’t. We talk things out and listen to each other. Why did you piss on us during the restraint?
Client: You guys were not listening to me.
2a Ormonde Avenue
St. Catharines, Ontario
Canadia
Portly IT guy on phone: That's almost as bad as my cousin kicking a dead man in the head and breaking his jaw.
Jacksonville, Florida
