Driver piercing long silence on radio, to no one in particular: If I wasn’t a human, I’d be one o’ them cow birds. [Other drivers agree.]
227 Business Route 96
Buna, Texas
Overheard by: Angel
Driver piercing long silence on radio, to no one in particular: If I wasn’t a human, I’d be one o’ them cow birds. [Other drivers agree.]
227 Business Route 96
Buna, Texas
Overheard by: Angel
Short fat woman, entering elevator: Hi, Gary, how are you this morning?
Gary, sighing: Oh, I'm okay. And you?
Short, fat woman: Well… I just started jazzercise on Mondays, and it's kicking my ass!
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: the elevator
Straight guy: And why would I be happy turning gay?
Straight girl: Duh!
Straight guy #2: “Gay” means “happy!”
Straight guy: (silence)
Straight guy #2: “Gay” also means “gay.”
Straight guy: I fail to see your point.
Quorum Drive
Addison, Texas
Manager: You know butadiene is a reproductive toxin, right?
Peon: A what?
Manager: Reproductive toxin — it causes sterility.
Peon: Okay… You know, maybe we should sterilize that town… Wait, was that out loud?
Manager, laughing: Yeah.
Houston, Texas
Male coworker: I heard you failed your test.
Female coworker: I didn't really fail. I just got like a really, really low score.
Houston, Texas
PR director to sales manager: I hope you weren't thinking about my nipples.
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: just keep walking
Young female coworker: Don't take me seriously. I mean, seriously!
Austin, Texas
Project manager: So, when Janet* gets it from both sides next week… Do you think that is what Craig* and Barbara* really want?
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: The Quiet Consultant
Customer: I’ll take this sushi and the spicy chicken with brown rice.
Girl at counter: Do you want dark meat or sub with all natural chicken breast?
Customer: I don’t know — it’s not for me, it’s for a coworker.
Girl at counter: Is it a guy or a girl?
Customer: A guy.
Girl at counter: Just get the dark chicken. He’ll never tell the difference.
Customer: He’s gay.
Girl at counter: Oh. Then get the white meat.
1303 South Congress Avenue
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Pracca
Coworker #1: You don’t believe in the five-second rule?
Coworker #2, who dropped a chip and threw it away: I do, just not when people are watching…
Richardson, Texas
