That Would Be the Icing on The… Well, You Know.

Editor #1: He's the son of the cake lady, right?
Editor #2: Yeah.
Editor #1: That lady died, right?
Editor #2: Yeah.
Editor #1: I wonder if he had something to do with it.

Houston, Texas

Overheard by: Confused reporter

Posted on April 2, 2015
Crimes, Death, Family, Questions, Texas, Writers and Editors

Call Me When the Atmosphere Ignites

Coworker #1: It’s too hot for this time of year. It should not be 80 in November.
Coworker #2: Yeah, I know. It’s almost enough to make you believe in that global warning myth.

Downtown Fort Worth, Texas

Posted on March 31, 2015
Coworkers, Gossip, Texas

Just Change Your Mousepad and Get Back to Work

Woman to HR director: Can I get workers compensation for pulling my twat muscle?
HR director: What’s a twat muscle?

Dallas, Texas

Posted on March 29, 2015
Accidents, Body Parts, Bosses, Comebacks, Coworkers, Default, Health & Hygiene, Human Resources, Money, Texas

Meet the Inventor Of Mescalean Cuisine

Guy to friend: Just because I love mescaline doesn't mean I don't have standards!

Fort Worth, Texas

Posted on March 28, 2015
Friends, Substance Use & Abuse, Texas, Weirdness

…Oh And, by the Way, I Know What You Were Doing in the Bathroom Earlier.

Receptionist: A patient just tried to cancel her appointment that's in two hours. Said she was stuck in Dallas. I told her we didn't have any openings for a month.
Coworker: Why? We have openings tomorrow.
Receptionist: Because she's not in Dallas, she called from home. Caller id, helloooo. She'll be here…

Dental Office
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Caller ID…hellloooo

Posted on March 28, 2015
Coworkers, Lies, Offers and requests, On the phone, Receptionists, Texas

We’re Spirogyra, Stupid

Delivery driver: Why are we all conjugating outside?

Pizza place
Joshua, Texas

Overheard by: needo

Posted on March 27, 2015
Blue Collar, Default, Questions, Texas, Words

That's What the Recordings Want You to Think

Service rep on phone: Yes, ma'am, I can find a salon near you. What is your zip code?
(sound of five beeps as woman keys in her zip code)
Service rep: Ma'am, could you speak your zip code, please?
(five beeps again)
Service rep: Ma'am! You are on the phone with a human being! Tell me, using your words, what you zip code is! (pause) Thank you, no, I'm not a recording!

Dallas, Texas

Overheard by: Another Rep

Posted on March 26, 2015
Customer Service, Customers, Offers and requests, On the phone, Technology, Texas, Weirdness

But I Can't Seem to Make the Request Without Giggling

Geek #1 (about female geek): She's pretty cool–I can hang with her.
Geek #2: Yeah, she's kind of cute and has some personality.
Geek #1: I keep trying to get her to give me a hummer…
Geek #2: Well, yeah, same here!
Geek #1: Because she has a collection of toy hummers in her cubicle.
Geek #2: Ah. Nice.

Fort Worth, Texas

Overheard by: Richard