Female coworker: I wish I was disabled.
Male coworker: What? Why?
Female coworker: ‘Cause then people would do things for you, like carry your stuff and get you things.
Male coworker: People do that for pretty people — why don’t you wish to be pretty?
910 Louisiana Avenue
Houston, Texas
Coworker on phone: Now, there's some guys that can really pitch washers. Don't shit yourself.
Point Comfort, Texas
Overheard by: Did I really just hear that?
Giggling girl in cubicle #1: Why can't I make it bigger?
Giggling girl in cubicle #2: This is so uncomfortable.
Giggling girl in cubicle #1: It gets better and better as it goes on.
Austin, Texas
Female coworker to male coworker: I need some edible glitter!
Dallas, Texas
[Dead of winter.]Supervisor: Oh my god -short sleeves! Why didn’t you wear your coat?
Employee: I looked out the window and it didn’t look cold outside.
Dallas Parkway
Addison, Texas
Secretary: Bye, guys. See you tomorrow.
Worker #1: Who the fuck was that?
Worker #2: The new sales secretary; she took [Carrie]’s place.
Worker #1: Who the fuck is [Carrie]?
Worker #2: She took over for [Gretchen].
Worker #1: Oh, hell. I don’t care about chicks’ names. I only care if I’m sleeping with them. And then sometimes I have to get up and check their purse for ID.
1313 North Industrial Boulevard
Dallas, Texas
Coworker on phone: But he always says, ‘I can’t dance, I can’t dance…’ No, it’s because his breasts jiggle around when he swings his hips, and he’s so insecure about his breasts. That’s why he can’t meet any girls — his breasts move whenever he dances.
Austin, Texas
Customer: Is my pizza ready?
Cashier, yelling: Hey! Is this guy’s 12-inch out yet?
Manager, laughing: Did you just say that?!
Cashier, blushing: Oh! Oh my god!
Fort Hood, Texas
Overheard by: can I get one of those?
Male coworker: I told my wife what you call my little thing.
Female coworker: (stunned silence)
Westlake, Texas
Overheard by: Epp
