Craig, Definitely

Project manager: So, when Janet* gets it from both sides next week… Do you think that is what Craig* and Barbara* really want?

Dallas, Texas

Overheard by: The Quiet Consultant

Posted on April 6, 2015
Default, Employees, Office Politics, Questions, Sexuality, Texas, Words

Better Throw in the Bone, Too

Customer: I’ll take this sushi and the spicy chicken with brown rice.
Girl at counter: Do you want dark meat or sub with all natural chicken breast?
Customer: I don’t know — it’s not for me, it’s for a coworker.
Girl at counter: Is it a guy or a girl?
Customer: A guy.
Girl at counter: Just get the dark chicken. He’ll never tell the difference.
Customer: He’s gay.
Girl at counter: Oh. Then get the white meat.

1303 South Congress Avenue
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Pracca

Posted on April 5, 2015
Customers, Default, Employees, Meals and Snacks, Questions, Sexuality, Texas

Society Would Crumble without Hypocrisy

Coworker #1: You don’t believe in the five-second rule?
Coworker #2, who dropped a chip and threw it away: I do, just not when people are watching…

Richardson, Texas

Posted on April 4, 2015
Coworkers, Philosophy, Texas

Is That Legal in Texas?

Boss to underling: My backdoor needs a special screw. I need a backdoor screw. I gotta have a backdoor screw.

Greenville, Texas

Posted on April 4, 2015
Bosses, Offers and requests, Texas, Weirdness, Wishes

Tough Pregnancy, Al?

Guy #1: All that movie is about is white people punching their wives in the face.
Guy #2: Really?
Guy #1: I think it would be more fun to punch your wife in the stomach then in the face.

Woodlands, Texas

Posted on April 3, 2015
Body Parts, Cinema, Employees, Family, Texas, Violence

That Would Be the Icing on The… Well, You Know.

Editor #1: He's the son of the cake lady, right?
Editor #2: Yeah.
Editor #1: That lady died, right?
Editor #2: Yeah.
Editor #1: I wonder if he had something to do with it.

Houston, Texas

Overheard by: Confused reporter

Posted on April 2, 2015
Crimes, Death, Family, Questions, Texas, Writers and Editors

Call Me When the Atmosphere Ignites

Coworker #1: It’s too hot for this time of year. It should not be 80 in November.
Coworker #2: Yeah, I know. It’s almost enough to make you believe in that global warning myth.

Downtown Fort Worth, Texas

Posted on March 31, 2015
Coworkers, Gossip, Texas

Just Change Your Mousepad and Get Back to Work

Woman to HR director: Can I get workers compensation for pulling my twat muscle?
HR director: What’s a twat muscle?

Dallas, Texas

Posted on March 29, 2015
Accidents, Body Parts, Bosses, Comebacks, Coworkers, Default, Health & Hygiene, Human Resources, Money, Texas

Meet the Inventor Of Mescalean Cuisine

Guy to friend: Just because I love mescaline doesn't mean I don't have standards!

Fort Worth, Texas

Posted on March 28, 2015
Friends, Substance Use & Abuse, Texas, Weirdness

…Oh And, by the Way, I Know What You Were Doing in the Bathroom Earlier.

Receptionist: A patient just tried to cancel her appointment that's in two hours. Said she was stuck in Dallas. I told her we didn't have any openings for a month.
Coworker: Why? We have openings tomorrow.
Receptionist: Because she's not in Dallas, she called from home. Caller id, helloooo. She'll be here…

Dental Office
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Caller ID…hellloooo

Posted on March 28, 2015
Coworkers, Lies, Offers and requests, On the phone, Receptionists, Texas