Young white girl: You need to wear sunscreen. My mommy told me that skin gets dark if you don’t wear sunscreen.
Young black girl: I was BORN dark.
Young black boy: Me, too.
Young white girl: Really?
Young black boy: I wear sunscreen, too.
Young white girl: You were born that way? So it’s not the sun? Really?
Preschool
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Amused Pre-K teacher
Woman on intercom: David*, to the back office. David*, to the back office, please.
David*on intercom: No, I don't want to. No, I don't want to.
Kinko's
San Antonio, Texas
Overheard by: The Flying Aspidistra
Guy #1: Man it stinks in here.
Guy #2: HR should offer training in the courtesy flush.
12545 Riata Vista Circle
Austin, Texas
Cube rat: Jason* is a pretty good guy… for a racist homophobe.
Senlac Drive
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: Is That All?
Coworker #1: Man, this is discolored.
Coworker #2: Yeah, you probably licked it.
Coworker #1: I hate that. Licking always discolors things.
Austin, Texas
Coworker #1: What radio station do you listen to on your way to work?
Coworker #2: I listen to a Christian station so I can prepare myself for dealing with you assholes.
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: one of the assholes
Cubicle dweller on phone: I have no idea how I am going to live my life without you but effective tomorrow I am going to try.
Horizon Way
Irving, Texas
Lady coworker #1: Lately I've been real irritable, lately.
Lady coworker #2: I heard something on tv about that.
Lady coworker #1: Really? What were they saying?
Lady coworker #2: Well, it was these ladies talking about irritable bowel syndrome… Wait, that's not what you're talking about, is it?
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: So not irritable
General Manager: I have an email problem, I need you to answer a question…Do I have to use all lowercase Ls here? Can’t I use 1s? They look like 1s.
IT: No! You have to use Ls! That is how e-mail works! It’s an address that you have to get right!
General Manager: It’s hard to tell if it is an L or a 1.
IT: Well yes, but from context clues, the email says, “Little Girl.”
General Manager: Well you know what they say about assuming. Makes an ass…you…me.
13601 FM 529 Road
Houston, Texas
Manager: Look at this, this lady put “dictaphone” under skills on their resume.
Worker: What? A dickaphone? Was she a phone sex operator?
1402 Harborside Drive
Galveston, Texas
Overheard by: ladyinthemidst
