Coworker #1: Where did you just go?
Coworker #2: I had to go get beer for a meeting.
Dallas, Texas
Chick: My boyfriend and I love to beat the shit out of each other. But it’s okay, because we are both German.
Austin, Texas
Worker #1: Stupid fucking Back Office Support people are retarded.
Worker #2: Fuck the fucking fuckers.
Worker #1: Amen…without the sex part.
Worker #2: Heh, their pillow talk would go something like this: “You are the one that is hot, that is what I am telling you now.”
1601 Bryan Street
Dallas, Texas
Sales girl: We have a sale on sports bras!
Largely endowed woman: I can't wear sports bras. They make me look like I have a uniboob.
Texas
Overheard by: silentinthecorner
Classmate #1: I’m gonna shave your head and sell your hair on the black market!
Classmate #2: Why would black people want his hair?
Classmate #3, after laughter subsides: Where is the black market, anyway?
Mt. Vernon High School
Mt. Vernon, Texas
Co-worker: This place runs like a well-oiled banana.
3000 Mountain Creek Parkway
Dallas, Texas
Older gentleman in response to memo on sexual harassment: In this office we don’t have sexual harassment, we just have sex!
Seguin, Texas
Trainer: So, we used to be called the self-help department, but now it's the self-services department. Before, we helped customers to help themselves. I guess now we help customers to um, service themselves.
Austin, Texas
Employee #1: You know that part of your brain that stops you from doing stupid shit?
Employee #2: Nope.
Employee #1: Oh.
Galleria
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: consultantinka
Not-so-smart office girl on phone: They think I read The Enquirer or something. I don't. I read people, I don't read books.
The Woodlands, Texas
Overheard by: hallokitty
