IT guy: Oh my god, I had such a terrible dream last night.
Receptionist: Yeah? What happened?
IT guy: I had a penis growing out of the back of my head.
Receptionist: Oh, um… Oh, wow!
IT guy: I know, right? And the worst part is I had to wear hoodies!
Woodinville, Washington
Overheard by: How is that the worst part?!
Analyst #1: I have a whole case of water in my car.
Analyst #2: Hoe cakes?
Sugar Land, Texas
Overheard by: Say What?
Tech on intercom: Who stole Frank's sword?
Coworker down the hall: Frank's sword is covered in latex!
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Vinana
Manager: Does anyone know anything about the new shift schedule?
Analyst: Karla tried to explain the new shift to me…then it got black…and I don't remember much…but then I woke up sucking my thumb and calling for my mom.
Redmond, Washington
Overheard by: Amy
Beautiful supervisor on phone: How did that project I gave you go?
Tech support specialist: Well, I ran into a couple of…snatches.
Beautiful supervisor: Okay, well, I will come help you out.
Tech support specialist, hanging up phone: I meant to say “glitches,” I meant to say “glitches”!
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Tech Anthony
Programmer: So I'm beginning to think that [client's name] is a huge fuckup.
Boss: Yeah, but he fucks up with style. He's the Buzz Lightyear of fuckups.
Mesa, Arizona
Overheard by: Chris Cardinal
IT guy, describing cyber-girlfriend: Yeah, I met her online. She works out a lot. She sent me some pictures, and she's definitely built like an outhouse.
Bartlesville, Oklahoma
Overheard by: My poop don't stink
Field tech: She wasn't bar hopping, she was boy hopping.
Sheridan College
Oakville
Canadia
Manager: Why doesn't our testing server work?
Programmer: I'll tell you exactly why it doesn't work. I built it.
Manager: I'm leaving now.
San Diego, California
Overheard by: He's right.
ISYS guy, listening to music: Sublime is awesome. “I smoke two joints in the morning. I smoke two joints at night”. Where do they come up with this stuff?
Accountant: They probably smoked two joints.
ISYS guy: I know! Lyrical genius!
Provo, Utah
