Sometimes I Get Shocked Right Out Of My Logical Empiricism

Professor walking into new chemistry building: Whoa, is this an optical illusion or is this reality?!

University of Arizona, Tucson

Overheard by: Rasputin

Posted on July 29, 2008
Arizona, Compare and contrast, Default, Education, Philosophy, Questions, Teachers

It’s Just That It Has the Periodic Table on It…

Grad student to undergrad: So I think we’ll probably end up selling our plane tickets, since we kind of need the money.
Professor nearby: Damn it!
Grad student: Um, should I, not sell the tickets, then?
Professor: Oh, oh no, sorry. It’s just that I don’t think I should wear my bathing suit to work anymore.

North Charles Street
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: LabCat

Posted on July 18, 2008
Clothes, Default, Maryland, Money, Students, Teachers, Travel

Deleted Scene From Stand and Deliver

Math teacher: So that was interpreting the graph. Gosh guys, this is really boring.

Wallingford, Connecticut

Overheard by: margo

Posted on July 17, 2008
Connecticut, Default, Education, Gripes, Teachers

…But It Sounds Dirty

Statistics professor: … Because honestly, I don’t even know what a box plot is.

University of Maryland
College Park, Maryland

Overheard by: student

Posted on May 15, 2008
Default, Education, Maryland, Teachers, Words

To Use a Completely Hypothetical Example.

Professor: So, you know how if you feed your sister-in-law’s kid a lot of sugar and caffeine, and he gets all crazy-like and runs around screaming? Well, that’s like exciting the molecule. And after a while, the excitement dies down, and he hits something. Like a wall. And if you’re lucky, he vomits. Fluorescence is the vomit of molecule excitation.

High Point University
High Point, North Carolina

Overheard by: This is what we’re teaching the leaders of tomorrow?

Posted on April 8, 2008
Accidents, Compare and contrast, Default, Dorks, Geeks, & Nerds, Education, Family, North Carolina, Places, Substance Use & Abuse, Teachers

It’s Like You Learned Nothing in Clown College

Whiny girl: I don’t know why anyone won’t take me seriously!
Mentor: Well, Kimmy*, you’ve got to show some confidence.

San Antonio, Texas

Overheard by: Not Steffi

Posted on April 1, 2008
Advice, Default, Gripes, Students, Teachers, Texas

Now She Was a Secular Humanist with Balls

Professor, about his mother: … And I told her, ‘Maybe you’re going to hell.’ To her credit, she laughed. And then she died.

Emerson College
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: omateido

Posted on February 21, 2008
Death, Default, Education, Religion, Teachers

They’re Equally Irrelevant to Intellectual Nutrition

Teacher: Do you all know your Roman numerals?
Student: Yeah — aren’t them those noodles you eat?

Rosedale Street
Fort Worth, Texas

Overheard by: MsTchr4678

Posted on January 15, 2008
General Idiocy, Students, Teachers, Texas

Remember When I Accidentally Backed into You?

Kid: I have to tell you something.
Teacher: Okay…
Kid: Sometimes when I fart, I get poop in my pants.
Teacher: I don’t need to know that.

Public school
Maryland

Posted on December 3, 2007
Gossip, Kids, Maryland, Teachers

Yeah, Let Me Add That to Original Sin and Slavery

Psycho parent: Look, you’re not in his resource time, so he can’t get help from you then.
Teacher: Yes, well, I’m teaching another class, so I can’t be there.
Psycho parent: I know it’s not your fault, but don’t you feel like you should take some responsibility for that?

High school
Sterling, Virginia

Posted on November 9, 2007
Gripes, Parents, Philosophy, Teachers, Virginia

Teachers