Suit: I saw a dude on the train this morning with an ass so big when he sat down he got taller!
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
Suit: I saw a dude on the train this morning with an ass so big when he sat down he got taller!
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
Suit #1: I think my memory has improved since I started taking those Ginkgo biloba tablets.
Suit #2: Really? I bought a bottle of those, like, two months ago, but I don’t remember where I put it.
2nd Street
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
Male suit: You and your va-jay-jay…
Lady suit: Yeah, so? Guys are obsessed with their dicks. — I’m just protective of my va-jay-jay.
Male suit: That’s ’cause it’s just out there hanging around — anything could just snag it! At least yours is tucked away.
Lady suit: Anything could snag it? Oh my god. Like a hang nail?!
Male suit: Yes.
Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Corporate suit: Hi, is my attorney here?
Young receptionist: No, sir, she's on maternity leave.
Corporate suit: Maternity leave? Did she have a baby?
Young receptionist: Yes, sir, she did.
Young receptionist to paralegal: Doesn't “maternity leave” mean you have a baby?
Law Office
Kansas City, Missouri
Suit #1: So, you feeling better today?
Suit #2: Man, I’m never eating Indian again.
Suit #1: Can’t have been that bad.
Suit #2: It’s just not manly to pee out your bum.
Hospital
England
Suit #1: So I was banging Alice in her office, and she started crying. It reminded me of George and Meredith in Grey’s Anatomy.
Suit #2: Wow! That must have been a turnoff.
Suit #1: No, I kept going. I just pretended I was banging Meredith.
80 J Street
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: Extra Character
Suit: She really did look like the type of woman who would rub glue all over her face.
Washington, DC
Suit to friend: Nobody at work knows I have pierced nipples. Including me.
Fair Lakes, Virginia
Secretary: Can I offer you gentlemen anything to drink?
Business hick #1: Yes, ma’am, I’d sure love a cup of black coffee.
Business hick #2: Yeah, the same for me, with cream and milk, please.
345 Park Avenue
New York, NY
