Mail guy #1: He said he smoked crack at work?
Mail guy #2: Yeah.
Mail guy #1: How did he do that?
Mail guy #2: He said he did it in the bathroom.
Mail guy #1: But how?
Mail guy #2: How?
Mail guy #1: Yeah. He has to walk past about 2 guards to get in the building. Those people are trained to smell shit and they know if you’re coming in here dirty.
281 Tresser Boulevard
Stamford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Brenda Fate
Marketing guy to PR girl: You'd better go home and eat your asparagus and get some sleep, because we have to be up at the crack of shitty dawn tomorrow.
Ontario
Canadia
Coworker #1:, on Kirstie Alley's appearance on Dancing with the Stars: She must be wearing those things, what are they called?
Coworker #2: Spanks.
Coworker #1: Stanks?
East Petersburg, Pennsylvania
Coworker #1, at the end of the day: That's it, I'm going to pick up my daughter from school, go home, and take drugs!
Coworker #2: What did you say ?
Coworker #1: I'm going home.
Coworker #2: No, that other part.
Coworker #1: I am going home to take drugs until I'm in heaven.
Herndon, Virginia
Manager: Don't listen to me, I have ADD and want PCP!
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Coworker, looking through her purse: Huh…I wonder what this pill is for…
Plano,Texas
Overheard by: Steph
Sales rep telling another how to take control of his life: Dude, you just gotta bang the chicks you wanna bang, and smoke the smoke you wanna smoke.
American Fork
Utah
Coworker, to herself: Pills! I found pills! I found drugs! I am taking them!
Hanford, California
Boss on phone: So take a Sudafed, wash it down with a glass of whiskey. You'll sleep for twelve hours. It says “don't take with alcohol,” which means you should definitely take it with alcohol.
Highland Park, Illinois
Overheard by: Office Peon
Editor: Get off the crack so early in the morning!
Manhattan, New York
