Aloha Exhaustion, Aloha Productivity!

Helpful Co-worker: Does anyone want anything from Starbucks?
Tired Co-worker: Yeah, get me a triple iced mocha with a shot of crack
in it.

827 Fort Street
Honolulu, Hawaii

Overheard by: Jade Shiroma

Posted on July 26, 2014
Coworkers, Hawaii, Meals and Snacks, Offers and requests, Substance Use & Abuse

I Only Drive Drunk in Moderation

Suit: It was 6 hours of nonstop powerdrinking. My wife was at a Christmas party and asked me to pick her up, and I said, “Even I would not get behind the wheel now!”

350 Madison Ave.
New York, NY

Posted on July 20, 2014
Comebacks, New York, Offers and requests, Substance Use & Abuse, Suits, Time Management

Too Much Speed Makes You Want to Get to Work

Worker: I need to go home, I think I have caffeine poisoning.
Boss: Caffeine poisoning?
Worker: Yeah, I think the coffee made me sick.
Boss: Is it like being on too much speed?

810 Dominican Drive
Nashville, Tennessee

Posted on July 10, 2014
Bosses and Underlings, Coworkers, General Idiocy, Health & Hygiene, Substance Use & Abuse, Tennessee

It’s Cheaper and Healthier Than Starbucks

Model employee: The earlier I wake up, the more crack I smoke on the way to work.

3100 W. Lake Street
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: Samesque

Posted on July 9, 2014
Dumb Employees, Minnesota, Substance Use & Abuse

2PM Pick Up Mail

Mail guy #1: He said he smoked crack at work?
Mail guy #2: Yeah.
Mail guy #1: How did he do that?
Mail guy #2: He said he did it in the bathroom.
Mail guy #1: But how?
Mail guy #2: How?
Mail guy #1: Yeah. He has to walk past about 2 guards to get in the building. Those people are trained to smell shit and they know if you’re coming in here dirty.

281 Tresser Boulevard
Stamford, Connecticut

Overheard by: Brenda Fate

Posted on April 2, 2014
Blue Collar, Connecticut, General Idiocy, Gossip, Restroom, Substance Use & Abuse, Words

Life: Encapsulated.

Marketing guy to PR girl: You'd better go home and eat your asparagus and get some sleep, because we have to be up at the crack of shitty dawn tomorrow.

Ontario
Canadia

Posted on June 20, 2011
Advice, Canadia, Coworkers, Meals and Snacks, Substance Use & Abuse, Time Management, Weirdness

Without Which, Her Cream Would Be Churned Into Butter

Coworker #1:, on Kirstie Alley's appearance on Dancing with the Stars: She must be wearing those things, what are they called?
Coworker #2: Spanks.
Coworker #1: Stanks?

East Petersburg, Pennsylvania

Posted on June 2, 2011
Clothes, Coworkers, Pennsylvania, Pop culture, Substance Use & Abuse, Words

If That's the Name Of a Prostitute, This Conversation Is Over.

Coworker #1, at the end of the day: That's it, I'm going to pick up my daughter from school, go home, and take drugs!
Coworker #2: What did you say ?
Coworker #1: I'm going home.
Coworker #2: No, that other part.
Coworker #1: I am going home to take drugs until I'm in heaven.

Herndon, Virginia