Professional: So, at the conference we stay four people to a room, two to each double bed.
Student worker: Two people in a double bed?! Can two people even fit in a double bed if they aren’t having sex?
60 Washington Square South
New York, New York
Overheard by: amused queer
Student handing back professor evaluation: Sorry about the goo — it’s just from when my computer oozes, you know–
TA: –Your computer oozes? That doesn’t sound like a good thing…
Student: No, it only oozes when it’s hot!
1156 High Street
Santa Cruz, California
Student: You haven't lived until you've failed out of school at least once.
BOCES
Bellport, New York
Overheard by: So thats why you're in Boces!
Teen boy: I want you to keep writing for the school newspaper. You can be our foreign correspondent!
Teen girl: Foreign? I’m not foreign just because I left the school.
Teen boy: Yes, you are. You’re so far now.
Teen girl: I’m on the other side of Scarborough, and you’re saying I might as well be in Bolivia!
Teen boy: We can say you are, if you want.
Ontario Universities’ Fair, Metro Toronto Convention Centre
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: made me laugh
Student #1: I thought Dan* hated it when you used the word ‘retarded.’
Student #2: No, Jen* is retarded, Dan is gay.
6450 South Fiddlers Green Circle
Greenwood Village, Colorado
Overheard by: Toddd
Student: This question doesn't make sense.
Professor: What do you expect? I'm not Goldilocks.
Every single student: What?
Professor: What? You're Goldilocks! You all are Goldilocks.
University of Akron, Ohio
Overheard by: All Three Bears
Recent male college grad: So I just quit my job…
Recent female college grad: Oh my god, that’s awesome!
Recent male college grad: I love our age group- everyone’s excited and envious of me -and not appalled…
San Francisco, Califronia
Overheard by: Still Employed… Unfortunately
Grad student: Let's get that second kit, there's more solution and tubes.
Advisor: Great, we'll get more buck for our dollar.
Grad student: Um, what?
Advisor: More buck for your dollar.
Grad student: Do you mean “more bang for our buck”?
Advisor: Well, I thought that's what it was, but that sounds dirty. Like prostitutes or something, so I said the other thing.
Grad student: Why does your mind always go straight to prostitutes?
Johns Hopkins University
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: LabCat
Kid #1: Number five is A, as in ‘asshole.’
Teacher: No, number five is B, as in…
Kid #2: Bastard!
Teacher: No, B as in ‘booby.’
High school
Tucson, Arizona
Overheard by: oh my
Training teacher: So, what are some things that you guys think are covered under the Americans with Disabilities Act?
Male teen student: Obesity?
Training teacher, with blank stare: Um, I don't think so. Anyone else?
Female teen student: How about being an old person?
Training teacher: Oooooooh boy. How about we just take a look at this slide up here…
Duane Reade Career Center
Manhattan, New York
