80-something man: Could you stop writing so hard? You're shaking the table.
60-something man: I can try, but I don't know what you expect me to do.
80-something man: I expect you to do more than try.
60-something man: Well, I expect you to stop making so much noise and talking to yourself!
80-something man: I can talk to myself if I want to!
60-something man: Well, I want you to shut the fuck up! Just shut the fuck up!
Orinda Public Library
Orinda, California
Passenger: My daughter is burning that DVD for you. I’ll drop it by when she’s done it.
Station worker: Thanks! You really don’t have to.
Another mother, to her toddler: Sound’s like someone’s breaching copyright!
Turramurra Station
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: Andrew
Loud white lady: Seattle was so beautiful… Then I get back here and it's like being in Africa!
Large black man It's not like Africa.
Loud white lady: Well, minus all the black people…
Scottsdale, Arizona
Overheard by: itstooearlyforthis
Woman in line with unruly child: Now you stand there and behave! (two seconds later) Ow, don't you bite me!
Younger woman behind her: That reminds me, I have to pick up my birth control pills!
Lansing, Michigan
Overheard by: Kevin
Lawyer: Have you been involved in any bike accidents?
Potential juror: I was hit by a car while riding my bike in the Hamptons. I was seriously injured, but I didn’t die.
60 Centre Street
New York, NY
Lawyer: So, you can recall that you’ve had at least one abortion.
Witness: Yes.
Lawyer: So, was this an overnight procedure or something like an outpatient procedure?
Witness: Oh, it was in and out — just like changing oil.
Court reporter: [Gasps.]
Norfolk, Virginia
A guy on the 2nd floor gets on an elevator for a 6 floor building.
All the buttons are lit.
Girl: I didn’t mean to do that. It just sorta happened…which floor are you going to?
Guy: Fortunately the fourth.
Girl: Oh. I would’ve felt bad if you had said the sixth.
Guy: Then I should’ve said the sixth floor.
They both got off on the fourth floor.
82 Wall Street
New York, NY
Overheard by: Monica Lewis
Middle-aged guy: It took me forever to find this building; it was confusing because the numbers were written with letters.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Devoted Puppy
President: Thank you for coming to our annual Christmas party. Where do you work?
New guy’s new girl: I’m in private wealth management.
President: You seem very nice. Can I give you one piece of advice?
New guy’s new girl: Sure.
President: Don’t wait too long to get married and have kids.
1 Cranberry Hill
Lexington, Massachusetts
