Older man: So, are you hungover?
Younger woman: No. Why? Do I look hungover?
Older man: No. I just wanted to start a conversation, and I don’t know what else to talk to you young people about.
501 Second Street
San Francisco, California
Older man: So, are you hungover?
Younger woman: No. Why? Do I look hungover?
Older man: No. I just wanted to start a conversation, and I don’t know what else to talk to you young people about.
501 Second Street
San Francisco, California
Female customer: My sunglasses are broken. One of the screws fell out, and a guy in here yesterday said they would replace them with a new pair.
Woman behind counter: Oh, I remember you. You’re just looking for a screw, right?
Female customer, after entire store stops laughing: Aren’t we all, really?
1051 North Rush Street
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Standing behind you
Man at photo kiosk: I just finished sending my selections and edits through, and then it froze.
Worker: Hmm. Locked up. Happens a lot. All the info is gone, unfortunately.
Man: I spent 45 minutes here, doing this.
Worker: I’m sorry. Here’s a $3-off coupon for next time.
Man: Three bucks for 45 minutes?
Worker’s cell phone rings. He walks away.
Avon Target
Avon, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Security guard: What’s your pant size?
Male shop-lifter: I don’t know… I just started wearing girls’ pants last week.
101 Clearview Circle
Butler, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Charpie
Lady with sick cat: My husband is going to kill me if I spend any more money on this cat.
Man with dog: That’s sad that you’re married to someone that’s like that. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for my pets.
Lady with sick cat: You want to go get a beer after this?
Jersey Avenue
Port Jervis, New York
Older woman #1: What are you going to do while you’re here?
Young man: Oh, I’m gonna shop like a mofo!
Older woman #1: Mofo? What is that?
Older woman #2: What does that mean?
Young man: Uh…it, uh…means I’m gonna shop a lot!
Older woman #2: Oh…Is that a Negro term?
Victoria, British Columbia
Canadia
Overheard by: J. Max
Old lady to young guy cleaning fish tank: I remember when cell phones were the size of a barn.
Doctor's Waiting Room
Burbank, California
Guy in stall to man in next stall making straining sounds: Are you okay?
Man on toilet: Yeah. (pauses, with legs stretched out) Just taking a break.
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Should not have asked
Smoker: Yeah, but the problem is security. I could give her an injection of morphine, but–
401 Gate Tree Lane
Austin, Texas
Guy: The worst part of being a corrections officer is when the prisoners want to fight you.
Suit: Yeah, that seems like it would be dangerous.
Guy: No, it’s just that I hate the paperwork.
327 Lakeshore Drive East
Dunkirk, New York
