Female cubicle rat: Oh my god, last night was insane! I had a lot of fun though. Hey, do you know if I was wearing underwear last night? (pause) Shutup, I am not a slut! (manic laugh) I could have sworn I had some on before I left the house. I'm itchy. I hope I didn't sit on something funky at the club.
Orange County, California
Customer #1: I don't know how she thinks she's hot.
Customer #2: Who?
Customer #1: Sweet tits.
Customer #2: (mumbles obscenities)
Customer #1: Well, I don't know what to tell you, you're the one who always dates mean, nasty women.
Target
Evansville, Indiana
Overheard by: REDman
Exec assistant on phone: They’re gay boys, so… you know… maybe a little more stainless steel…
47th Street and Park Avenue
New York, New York
Sales girl: I’m a screw hunter, baby!
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Woman #1: So is it a booty call if you only have sex some of the time?
Woman #2: No, it’s worse.
3600 Port of Tacoma Road
Tacoma, Washington
Reporter #1: So, I was interviewing her about what she was going to do next, and she said she hoped she’d just get, you know, a Joe Blow job.
Reporter #2: You’re not going to put that in the story, are you?
Reporter #3: Where can I find this Joe?
149 Penn Avenue
Scranton, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: I just work here
Cube rat #1: Hey, come look at this! The way Firefox cuts off the wording on my tab spells out “web anal”!
Cube rat #2: What? What are you talking about?
Cube rat #1: Seriously. Instead of “web analytics,” it just says “web anal.” that cracks me up!
Cube rat #3: Hey, I'm actually with him on this one. I'm looking up a recipe right now to make my girlfriend for dinner, and coincidentally my tab says “basil bals” for “basil balsamic vinaigrette.” You gotta admit it's funny.
Cube rat #2: You two have no idea how much I hate you guys.
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Male database administrator: She said she'd do all of my hookings for the next year and a half!
Chesapeake, Virginia
Overheard by: Lady Ash
Insurance coordinator on phone: I received your mold report and just for future reference, “caulking” is not spelled “c-o-c-k-i-n-g.”
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Kanee
Coworker making lunch plans on the phone: Tell him not to get his hair cut til after lunch. Strippers don't care what your hair looks like!
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: B-rabbit
