Women #1 to friend leaving bathroom: How long were you in there?
Women #2: Not long enough, trust me!
Women #1: What were you doing, your hair?
Women #2: Not even close.
Women #1: Tell me.
Women #2, speaking closer and whispering: Masturbating.
Women #1: Oh.
(women #1 walks to the bathroom)
Herald Sun
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Lucie
Woman #1 (giggling): It says here he used to work for Cockrum. What the hell is that?
Woman #2: Maybe he was a gay bartender?
Woman #1: Or some kinda pirate.
Downers Grove, Illinois
Overheard by: I don't want to know
Account executive: It's Mike's birthday today!
Mike: It is not.
CEO: Oh well, time for the ritual birthday sodomy, anyway.
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: IT Dude
Office guy: That's gotta be some kind of metaphor, handing out blue balls.
Richmond, Virginia
Editor: You blow up the condoms, and I'll make the dog.
Palo Alto, California
Overheard by: Mollena Williams
Assistant controller: I was teased a lot as a child.
Clerk: You were tea bagged a lot as a child? I wouldn't tell people that.
Assistant controller: No! I said “teased”! What the heck is “tea bagged”?
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Lexie
Receptionist: Give me an STD that's not serious, just…unhealthy.
London
England
Janitor to another, from inside men's restroom: What you need to do is get down in there and scrub. Scrub-a-dub-dub. Like the men in the tub. Scrub. A dub. Dub.
5th Ave
New York City, New York
Overheard by: EmLo
Office lady #1: At the bar my sister works at, they put jello shots in a syringe so you can just squeeze it back.
Office lady #2: Oh no, I like to feel it all over.
Pearl Street
Austin, Texas
