Co-worker #1: …no, the cervix is attached to the uterus, but it’s not the uterus, the uterus is different–
Co-worker #2: You guys have the best conversations first thing in the morning.
Co-worker #3: You just missed the bit about the penis.
Co-worker #2: No, I didn’t.
557 Church Street
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Exec #1 to exec #2: Does it matter if there's more than one person?
Exec #2: No, I'll just jiggle them around. Let me know who and I'll start jiggling.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: officedrone
Customer: Can you put directions for the delivery man on the label?
CSR: Sure.
Customer: Tell him to give it to me through the back door.
CSR: The back door?
Customer: Yeah.
473 Ridge Road
Dayton, New Jersey
Overheard by: office peon
Office grunt: I was just going to jerk them off but I figured it would be best to ask first.
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: wes
Female coworker #1: By that time I was drunk enough to run in there myself. So I bought one of 'em. It was like a regular condom, but it had these little pink things…
Female coworker #2: You bought a french tickler?
Female coworker #1: Yeah! So we blew it up at our table and started using it as a volleyball. It was really fun for a while, and then I spiked it into the priest's head and we were asked to leave the reception.
Albany, New York
Overheard by: Doubled over Coworker
Only female worker in office, to five males: Speaking of Hummers…
(everyone stops working and looks up)
Technician: You have our attention.
Malvern, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Were we?
Office lady on cell: Yeah, I was supposed to have lunch with my husband, but he was busy with his girlfriends. (pause) Yeah, at least he tells me when he dates. (pause) Me? No, I just fuck whoever I want, and he can kiss my ass. (pause) Yeah, I am free Thursday.
Chicago, Illinois
Smirky coworker in room full of women: Well, two thirds of the people in the US who make minimum wage are women, so it's not my problem.
Rochester, New York
CSR to coworker: I don't really understand sororities. I've always been able to make friends, get drunk and have random sex without having to pay dues.
Nashville, Tennessee
Female admin assistant to another, about cubicle relocation: I mean, I like it all just fine, but if I had a wiener I wouldn't get a boner or anything.
Houston, Texas
