Manager to lead: Go ahead and audit her drawer tonight. We're supposed to audit everyone once a week.
Cashier: Go ahead, since it'll be quick. How often are my drawers off anyway?
Passing coworker: Every. Night.
Lee's Summit, Missouri
Overheard by: Alicia
Supervisor (in a sing-song voice): Sex with Steven is more boring than church.
Employee #1: (humming along)
Supervisor: Sex with Steven is like…a handjob during Golden Girls.
Employee #1: Sex with Steven is like getting off on a baby carrot.
Employee #2: A baby pickle.
Employee #1: Whatever. Sex with Steven is…like an orgy with old people.
(pause)
Supervisor : You took it too far.
Hamilton
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: some girl.
Someone from upstairs on PA system: Mrfff marhhh purpfff rrharp!
Receptionist downstairs on PA system just moments afterwards, completely deadpan: Would Charlie Brown's parents please stop paging people on the intercom? Thank you.
Roswell, New Mexico
Overheard by: The Help
Supervisor to art director, while playing with digital camera: I am also deleting these photos, well–they should have been deleted a long time ago–but those ones of me on my knees.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Female peon to supervisor: I'm going to get us a room, but you said you wanted to do it in your office!
5th Avenue
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Miz Met
Rental associate: How did you enjoy your movies, sir?
Customer, noticeably uncomfortable: Uhhh, the first one sucked, the second one I couldn't get through.
Rental associate: Oh, that's nice. (looks down to see each movie is a porno and turns beet red)
Rancho Cucamonga, California
Overheard by: pixelpusher-909
Coworker #1, about Tesla cars: Those things were blowing trannies when they came out.
Coworker #2: Wait, what are you guys talking about?
The Woodlands, Texas
Overheard by: Jeremy
Advisor on phone: Since I'm not there anymore, you need to let the whole office know about that little victory! If nothing else…just so that I can toot my horn through your mouth!
El Paso, Texas
Overheard by: Band Nerd
Boss: If the phone rings, and I'm still here…
Secretary: You're not here?
Boss: Right. I don't care if it's Carmen Electra calling for an emergency titty-fuck.
Rhode Island
Overheard by: Lauren
Convention-goer in hallway: Want to come in? There! I just propositioned you!
Cleveland, Ohio
