Coworker exiting elevator: I am looking for god, goddammit!
Manhattan, New York
Coworker to German boss: Every time I see the Dalai Lama, I feel better. It's true, don't you just feel better when you see the Dalai Lama?
German boss: Every time I see Steve Jobs, I feel better.
Van Nuys, California
Overheard by: two chicks laughing in our cubes
Female cube rat #1: I got gasoline panties and I'm going to hell. Hahahahaha!
Female cube rat #2: Gasoline panties? What?
Female cube rat #1: Gasoline panties! And I'm burning in hell! Hehehe!
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Boss, during sales meeting: I'm still trying to hire a new salesperson. Actually, Mark* was the best candidate, based on Monica's* recommendation, but he couldn't accept the job. And that happens. So, Monica*, you don't need to feel guilty about wasting anyone's time. Although I don't think you do feel guilty, which is really weird because you're Jewish.
Charlotte, North Carolina
Store manager on phone: And I said, “Lord god, please Jesus, don't let my mama's water be cut off, not with that old man living in that house with her, and he ain't had no bowel movement in three days.”
Northport, Alabama
Overheard by: Lisa
Coworker #1: These are very vicious rabbis.
Coworker #2: Vicious rabbis?
Coworker #1: Yeah.
Manhattan, New York
Administrator: The college president is in the process of finding an old nun.
Indianapolis, Indiana
Clerk #1 to clerk #2: He really did believe that when Noah built the ark, that dinosaurs didn't get saved because they were late.
Divorce Court
Miami, Florida
Overheard by: Harry
Account manager, loudly into phone: You should have just been faxed the revised drug screen form you need to take to the clinic, but it's not coming from me. It's coming directly from Christ.
Financial District
Manhattan, New York
Manager to employee: Even with a few billion dollars, I think that a gay Jew would have a bit of trouble getting elected pope.
Employee: They picked a Nazi last time.
Manager: Well, yes, but even a Nazi is better than a gay Jew.
Employee: I have a bumper sticker that says that.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
