Patron: Can I get some Equal for my tea?
Waitress: You mean, like, a lemon?
Phoenix, Arizona
Patron: Can I get some Equal for my tea?
Waitress: You mean, like, a lemon?
Phoenix, Arizona
Female owner: Are we having computer trouble this morning?
Male manager: No, why?
Female owner: Because I can't get it up! I hate when I can't get it up!
Male manager: Me too, meeee toooo…
Indianapolis, Indiana
Office girl: Why don't you get a baby? A cute little brown baby?
Gay office worker: I don't want a gay-by!
Office girl: Oh yeah, a cute little chocolate baby!
Gay office worker: I'd eat him! I love chocolate! (pause) Anyway where's my urn?
Manhattan, New York
Older woman #1: What are you going to do while you’re here?
Young man: Oh, I’m gonna shop like a mofo!
Older woman #1: Mofo? What is that?
Older woman #2: What does that mean?
Young man: Uh…it, uh…means I’m gonna shop a lot!
Older woman #2: Oh…Is that a Negro term?
Victoria, British Columbia
Canadia
Overheard by: J. Max
Coworker #1: Did you work here in 1993?
Coworker #2: ‘Here’ in what sense?
1110 West Washington Street
Phoenix, Arizona
Overheard by: next cube over
Guy #1: What area code is 206?
Guy #2: Did you say “Erica pulled out her tits”?
Guy #1: No, I asked what area code 206 is.
Guy #2: Oh.
Hollywood, California
Working girl #1: So, I’ve decided I’m going to get a tattoo of dolphins around my belly button.
Working girl #2: But if you get pregnant, won’t they look like… whales?
Main Street
Columbia, South Carolina
Mom: If she gets convicted, I'm taking you to T.G.I. Friday's.
Son: Can we go even if she doesn't? Because it will feel like a victory either way, then.
Courthouse
Mentor, Ohio
Overheard by: Bird is the word
Co-worker #1: Is that a boob?
Co-worker #2: Yeah, I think it is.
Co-worker #1: There aren’t any appropriate pictures of Native Americans!
625 Mount Auburn Street
Cambridge, Massachusetts
