Short male coworker to another: Shouldn't you be making toys somewhere?
College Station, Texas
Short male coworker to another: Shouldn't you be making toys somewhere?
College Station, Texas
Female: But there's like four or five on one arm!
Male: I know they're green, but are they hard? Soft?
Female: Big. Green.
New York State Psychiatric Institute
Overheard by: Rina
Worker bee: Do I smell bacon, or am I just having a really awesome stroke?
175 Remsen Street
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: cubicle island
Network engineer: Do you have a pen? I need to make a mental note.
305 North Drive
Melbourne, Florida
Female peon #1, in reference to cute co-worker: So, what happened with that guy you gave your number to?
Female peon #2: Oh, girl, I didn’t tell you?!
Female peon #1: No, what happened?
Female peon #2: Listen to this… he never called me, right? And I really wanted to know what was up with that. So, I walked over to him the other day and said, “Hi, how’s it going?” Well, we got to talking, and he said he was sorry he never called, but that he isn’t looking for a relationship right now… because he’s trying to concentrate on his relationship with Jesus Christ!
[Female peon #1 and eavesdropping co-workers break into laughter.]Female peon #2: Can you believe that? I was rejected for Jesus!
Melbourne, Florida
Overheard by: Kitty
Female coworker: What's your pet peeve?
Female boss: Men who can't cut their toenails.
Female coworker: Why?
Female boss: Because that means they have beer bellies.
Scottsdale, Arizona
Overheard by: Dyan
Supervisor: We have a call-out
Boss: Why’s he calling out?
Supervisor: Says his house caught fire.
Boss: Bullshit! Tell him we want a pic of him fighting the fucking fire! Then we’ll authorize the call-out!
731 Lexington Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: RedManInc
TA #1: Can you let Mike* know that a student came by for him?
TA #2: Sure, was it a boy or a girl?
TA #1: Uh, he left a note.
Stony Brook, New York
Mother: I think Grandma Olson has a little bit of a cirrhosis thing going on.
Little girl: Why’s that?
Mother: Because Grandma Olson drinks much, much, much more than-
Little girl: -Than grandpa?
Mother: Than anyone in the world.
120 Kellogg Boulevard
St. Paul, Minnesota
Woman supervisor: So the manager called and asked me if I could open today.
Man supervisor: Yeah, me too. I was supposed to close tonight.
Woman supervisor: I told him I had some very important things to do this morning. Mostly it was getting over my hangover, ’cause I was gonna get fucking drunk last night.
Man supervisor: Sounds like a legit excuse to me.
Woman supervisor: Don’t worry, you can get drunk tonight.
8341 NW Roanridge Road
Kansas City, Missouri
