Queer admin guy #1: They made another round of changes, so I had to go out and get more binders. Those thick ones are really expensive, too.
Queer admin guy #2: What were they, four inches?
Queer admin guy #1: I got the three-inch ones, I think.
Straight admin girl: But is three inches enough? Do you think?
Queer admin guy #2: (gives her a look)
Straight admin girl: No! No no no no no!
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Scooter
Boss: Is You're all jerks a new reality show?
Employee: No, but The Jersey Shore is.
Baltimore, Maryland
30-ish guy shouting from desk: What’s a MILF? [Everyone laughs.] No, really — what is a MILF? I just got an e-mail about it!
Virginia
Very country legal assistant to hearing office rep: Well… That Irene Davis and I have been commuting.
Hearing office rep: What?
Very country legal assistant: Commuting… Ya know, talking.
Law Firm
Lower Alabama
Overheard by: How embarassing for the rest of us
Executive, referring to salesperson: What purpose does it serve to have her review these files?
Production manager: What purpose does it serve to have her work here?
Executive: Let me ask again. What's the point of giving her these files?
Production manager: I'll answer your question if you answer mine.
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Art Dictator
(cute FedEx guy with hat on leaves office after dropping package off)
Female agent: Firecrotch or no firecrotch? I couldn't really tell.
Aspen, Colorado
VP: But how will we make grilled cheese?
Drone: With the toaster oven.
VP: Well, I never, you’ll have to show me how to use it.
Drone: Have you used a toaster?
VP: Yes!
Drone: Have you used an oven?
VP: YES!
Drone: Then you can use a toaster oven.
VP: Well, I have never seen such a thing.
Benzing Road
Orchard Park, New York
Coworker: Derek’s* married? To a WOMAN?!
165 West 46th Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: Beth
Engineer #1 to #2: What the hell is up with your hair?
Engineer #2: Nothing, leave me alone!
Boss to engineer #2: Don't you shower? You look like a bush hog.
Engineer #1: Yeah, you look like a bush hog.
Engineer #2: Of course I showered. I washed my hair last night. Leave me alone. What the hell is a “bush hog”?
Engineer #3: A homosexual hedgehog.
Engineer #2: Does my hair really look that bad?
Coolidge, Arizona
Loud coworker: Well, what did he make it stiff with?
Quiet coworker, mumbling: Glue and a hairbrush.
Swiftwater, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: wookie
