Boss: Where’s [Justin]?
Employee: He’s up my ass…want to tickle his feet?
800 Livingston Avenue
North Brunswick, New Jersey
Boss: Where’s [Justin]?
Employee: He’s up my ass…want to tickle his feet?
800 Livingston Avenue
North Brunswick, New Jersey
Older female sales rep: The rule is: if he jumps on you, turn your back to him immediately.
Delran, New Jersey
Overheard by: Bruce Banner
Guy: Wow! Look at the legs on that chick! Those are some really short shorts! Look, Bill*!
Bill: Yeah, that’s my wife.
740 Fourth Street
Santa Rosa, California
Overheard by: Sandie
Manager: What motivates you to do your best job possible?
Interviewee: Well, I don’t do anything half-assed… Yeah, I like to put my whole ass into everything I do.
1158 Howard Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Kirsten
Editor: You got a little insert action going on there?
Paginator: Yeah, you like it?
Editor: Oh yeah, I like it.
Paginator: What about this, you like this?
Editor: That’s great.
9 Long Pond Road
Plymouth, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Miss Persnicket
Employee to boss: Your compliments feel better than most people's compliments…
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: chickago
Loud lady peon: Hey, Sheryl*, whenever you want to come over here and smell me, go ahead!
Fairchild Court
Plainview, New York
Overheard by: Tina
Patient looking at insurance form: Where this says ‘Relation to patient,’ what do I put?
Insurance employee: You can put ‘Husband,’ ‘Spouse’… ‘Love slave.’
6721 Lake Harbour Drive
Midlothian, Virginia
Overheard by: Pip
Sales girl: Sooo [Alice], I hear you are having butt trauma today.
[Alice] the assistant: Yeah, I don’t know what is wrong, but it just hurts. Down in my butt crack. It just hurts.
Sales guy: Huh? What’s going on?
[Alice]: Shut up, you’ve seen it already!
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Assistant: Wait, it doesn’t look like the data was deleted when you opened the program.
Boss: What? I thought it was supposed to suck ’em off!
Assistant: What?
Boss: Suck ’em off! Suck ’em off until they’re empty!
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Working on my resume
