Female employee: Can I stick my hand in there without getting HIV?
Male employee: Yeah, but you might pull out a carrot or two.
Department of Homeland Security
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Cube around the corner
Female employee: Can I stick my hand in there without getting HIV?
Male employee: Yeah, but you might pull out a carrot or two.
Department of Homeland Security
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Cube around the corner
Boss : What is that red thing on top of a rooster’s head called? I can’t find a description anywhere on the Internet.
Employee: Just Google ‘cock’ and ‘diagram.’
Bloomington, Indiana
Overheard by: Sailorette
Korean teacher: Do you have a boyfriend?
English teacher: No.
Korean teacher: Don’t you get lonely?
English teacher: Not really.
Korean teacher: Doesn’t your… body get lonely?
English teacher: Did you really just say that?
Korean teacher: I’m not sexually harassing you! My English just isn’t good!
Sacheon
South Korea
Office drone #1: So my new next door neighbor’s name is Amanda and she has a 2-year-old named Mercedes.
Office drone #2: Good luck keeping that one off the pole.
15 Washington Avenue
Brooklyn, New York
Manager: I just want to know — what is the penetration of 12 to 17-year-old girls?
Analyst: I’m not sure we want to show that…
Manager: They need to know how many 12 to 17-year-olds have been penetrated!
28 State Street
Boston, Massachusetts
CFO: Well, don’t you look dolled up today! What is the occasion?
Payroll: It’s the first day of my sexual harassment litigation…
Kirkland, Washington
Overheard by: oops
Boy piano student #1, pencil poised under buttocks: Dare me to sit on this?
Boy piano student #2: You’ll hurt your testicles.
Girl piano student: Guess what? Dr. Evil’s dad made him shave his testicles!
Boy piano student #2: But testicles don’t grow hair.
Piano studio
Florida
Grad student: I’m just incapable of mounting anything remotely straight.
3400 North Charles Street
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: LabCat
Supervisor: Jeremy* did not come in or call for three days. What should we do?
Manager: Spank him?
803 West Seale
Nacogdoches, Texas
Overheard by: Glinda Bright
Co-worker #1: has Crazy [Don] come to see you yet?
Co-worker #2: Yeah. The first two weeks I was here he came over to my desk every day.
Co-worker #1: Did he ever make eye contact?
Co-worker #2: No.
Co-worker #1: He’s crazy.
Co-worker #2: At least he’s not trying to molest me.
3600 Market Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
