Secretary: Are you gonna have a little bambino?
Slightly overweight patient: Uh, no. Just had a few too many cookies.
Secretary: Are you sure? Maybe I know something you don't.
Slightly overweight patient: I am unable to conceive.
Rochester, New York
Girl: Yeah, so I have to go buy this see-through tank top and a see-through skirt for tennis. It’s so stupid. And I will have to wear another tank top underneath my see-through tank top and some shorts to cover up my balls–I mean… [laughs really hard]
Career Center
Winston-Salem, North Carolina
Overheard by: not-so-smart asian.
Manager, about getting her nails done: I wanna get just the tip red, I see lots of girls with the tip.
Annoying coworker: Just the tip?
Coworker: Wanna play a game called “just the tip”? Just for a second, to see how it feels.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Can we go crash a wedding now?
Corporate suit: They were wearing, like, you know, trashy Old Navy golf shirts.
Plainsboro, New Jersey
Overheard by: Wow.
Server girl (about black guy in pink shirt): Wow, look at that pink shirt that guy's wearing!
Server boy: What about it? I think it looks kinda cool.
Server girl: But who would wear that?
Server boy: That guy obviously.
Server girl: Okay, you're right, it's okay on him…but on a person?
Server boy: That's fucked up.
Restaurant
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Overheard by: server thenn, idiot now
Suit walking out of office: No, I don't want to do that. I'm far too pretty to go to prison! (whole office stops and stares at him) I just said that way too loud, didn't I?
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Scotty
Male bank teller: Tall people should wear big boots, and short people should wear short boots!
Female bank teller: Naw.
Male bank teller: Yes!
Female bank teller: Naw.
Male bank teller: Yes!
Pratt Institute
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Josh
Chick #1 to IT guy and chick #2: That fat kid on the new Shrek movie sounds weird. (in scratchy deep voice) “Do the roar!”
Chick #2: He sounds like Cartman.
Chick #1: If Cartman and Darth Sidious had a love child, that's what he'd sound like. That fat kid.
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Suit on cell: I’m going home and changing into shorts. It’s so hot out there I need to throw up.
Washington Mutual
Livermore, California
Overheard by: Stephen
CSR, looking at small child: I want a baby, but I want it to stay small like that.
Serious manager: Well, you should have sex with a dwarf.
Washington, DC
